Holy moley. So embarrassed was 29 year old Mardin Azad Amin to be found with a penis pump in his luggage at O'Hare Airport last week, he declared with a nervous chuckle that it was a bomb.
BoingBoing has the full story, and we have a great selection of Sex Toys For Travelling which will let you avoid this sort of nightmare scenario in these times of heightened airport security - but still let you take discreetly packaged sex toys on holiday with you for well-deserved fun.
We've also got a Travel Sex Toys Buyer's Guide to help you choose which one's right for you.
Lovely people have been busy sharing their experiences of sex toys - both good and bad - over on our sex toys reviews site Orgasm Army. There you can find first-hand reviews of toys with people explaining exactly what they thought of them and whether they'd recommend it. Given it's still quite hard to ask for dildo recommendations during most dinner party conversations, this gives you invaluable insight into choosing the toy that's best for you.
Now the Army has gone one better and launched the Orgasm Army Sex Toy Reviews blog - you can read the newest reviews to arrive on the site straightaway which will spark your imagination about how else you pleasure your partner - and yourself!
If you're a fan of RSS, you can also subscribe to the Orgasm Army blog feed, which will bring the latest sex toy reviews straight to your feed reader.
Want to know how to use a mould-a-willy penis-cloning kit? Here's the most detailed instructions ever...
"To date I’ve made a total of 5 of these for different girlfriends who’ve requested them & I feel that I’ve learnt a few vital lessons in the process.
Most important is the need to make a simple but thorough plan of when & how you’re going to do the fabrication of your most precious asset. Why I say this is because the initial stage of producing the mould of your erect cock has a degree of trickiness to it for several reasons. The instructions given with the kit do give details in this regard but obviously the manufacturers don't harp on & on about what can be difficult.
You must be relaxed & comfortable when you do the mould making so it is essential that you have plenty of time available for the process as well as everything ready, laid out & easy to get hold of when it’s needed...
See the full Clone A Willy Moulding Vibrator Kit review at Orgasm Army.
Buy the Clone A Willy Moulding Vibrator Kit at Lovehoney.
Looking for a good beginner's anal toy? The Mini Slider could be it...
"The product looks quite flimsy and as my wife an I are new to anal I was at first quite disappointed as I hoped to have something which looked slightly better made, but I was pleased it was no great big scary thing!
It requires a single battery which if you (like me) always forget to order then with a toy is a bonus as you always have one knocking about..."
See the full Anal Mini Slider review at Orgasm Army.
Buy the Anal Mini Slider at Lovehoney.
If you naughty draw is brimming over with tons of different vibes, dildos and jelly dongs, yet you're still lusting for something a bit different, why not design your own sex toy?
Maybe you want to combine the vibrating ferocity of a Jack Rabbit vibe with the flexibility and 'couple friendly' style of a jelly double dong, or perhaps you fancy coming up with some kind of pocket sea monster to titillate and masturbate you in the bathtub?
Whatever your sex toy cravings, put pen, crayon or pubic hair shavings to paper and design a toy that you reckon would make thousands of people flip their orgasmic lids. Aside from the generous £1,000 prize money if you win, you could also have your sex toy design made a reality!
In association with international sexpert Tracey Cox and those sauce pots at Lovehoney and Orgasm Army, the most righteous erotic warriors ever, all you need to do is go to www.designasextoy.com and follow the online instructions.
One of the things you should know about me is that I appreciate a night in watching a great movie just as much as a night out prowling the streets with my best mates. And I'm not just talking about porno films, either. The Usual Suspects, Seventh Realm, Godfather II, Grease and Dirty Dancing (obviously!) are among my favourite films of all time.
But for all that lamenting, the film I watched last night, 9 Songs, could be classed as porn. I don't know whether any of you read the vast amount of interviews, features and articles written about the film and its stars when it was released two years ago, but 9 Songs (directed by Michael Winterbottom) is one of the most beautiful displays of eroticism I have seen in ages.
Trust me when I say, I would never recommend a perv-fest about courgette-shagging politicians or faeces loving swingers (unless that's what you're in to), but 9 Songs is a film you should watch at least once in your lifetime. The thing that made me gasp most is that the two stars, Margo Stilley and Kieran O' Brien, were not porn stars when they were cast for their roles, which makes what they do on screen way more horny than watching two seasoned pros display their moves like they have done a million times before.
Guys! When was the last time you hit the wall behind your head ;-)
"The heading says it all. I bought this little gadget in conjunction with the Pink Lady Fleshlight and the two simultaneously quite literally shattered my pelvis. The orgasm achieved was like none ever experienced. I'm considering firing my secretary because she does not perform as well after hours.
Any how, I lubed up with the recommended lube and slipped it into position, amazing how quickly the penis responds to a little pressure on the prostate. Rampant, I proceeded to contract my sphincter muscle, held it and then let go. I repeated this procedure for sometime while playing with my penis until pre-cum started to ooze from my penis."
See the full Aneros Maximus Prostate Massager review at Orgasm Army.
Buy the Aneros Maximus Prostate Massager at Lovehoney.
Not to be confused with Sellotape, duct tape or masking tape, bondage tape provides a unique opportunity for bedroom fun...
"Bondage tape is something that's always been on my shopping list, but somehow always got pushed aside by flashier gizmos. To celebrate a much earned payrise I decided to splash out on a few things, we NHS minions work hard and play harder. I warned the missus in advance, and told her to prepare to be tortured..."
See the full Bondage Tape review at Orgasm Army.
Buy the Bondage Tape at Lovehoney.
There's nothing better than a sleek, smooth glass dildo worked between your legs for a tantalizing session of masturbation. Unlike plastic or silicone dildos, the glass variety look more sophisticated, can be heated up or cooled down, are produced in the most beautiful kaleidoscope of colours and will last for ages (provided you don't chip them).
I wasn't keen on the idea of having a huge chunk of glass thrust inside me when I was first approached about using one, but I soon changed my mind when given a Love Labs Ribbed 8-inch glass dildo. Slathering it in my favourite Tracey Cox Supersex Love Lube, the titillating twists of the dildo's ribbed contours sensuously rubbed the inside of my vaginal walls and provided me with a delectable feeling when traced over my clit and nipples.
I've always used a flared-base dildo for anal play, but I have been known to use the tip of my Love Labs 8-inch for some fast anal thrusting if I'm incredibly horny! My top tip for using the Love Labs 8-inch glass dildo is to use it hot and wet. You can heat up your glass dildo by leaving it at room temperature for a few mins, then submerging it in a pan of hot water for five minutes. Once this is done you should empty out half of the tap water so that your dildo is part covered, then fill the pan with boiling water, remove the dildo and set aside for 25 minutes.
Then all you need to do is lube up your vagina and dildo, and lie back for some seriously hot glass dildo action!
You can buy the Love Labs 8-inch glass dildo at Lovehoney.
Jimmyjane is a brand of luxury sex toys that's been taking the USA by storm - Kate Moss was recently seen buying a Jimmyjane Little Chroma Luxury Everlasting Vibe, and now you can too! Lovehoney is the first shop in the UK to sell the Jimmyjane Little Chroma, so you too can feel like a supermodel - Vogue calls it "the most elegant and seductive accessory".
When it says "everlasting", it does actually means that. The Jimmyjane Little Chroma has a patented replaceable motor, so it really will last a lifetime! It's extra quiet - pretty much silent, in fact - and completely waterproof.
It offers a deep resonant vibration that varies along the length of the slim shaft, and the metal is easy to clean and safer for your body than conventional jelly vibes. It also holds temperature, so it can be heated up or cooled down.All materials are medical quality, body safe and dishwasher safe. The Little Chroma is lightweight, and made of high quality anodized aluminum.
Now you can see why Kate Moss bought one. And you can too - the Jimmyjane Little Chroma Luxury Everlasting Vibe is priced at £139.99, with free UK delivery, naturally. Not exactly a king's ransom, and also an ideal Christmas gift to drop very large hints about if you're a bit brassic.
The Jimmyjane is just one of the luxury sex toys we have in stock at Lovehoney - if you really want to be the girl who has everything, collect the set! (Although you might need a small bank loan first).