While the sperm testing continues apace , the Orgasm Army have been busy too. New sex toy reviews keep coming into Orgasm Army central, like the Fun Factory Smart Balls - "When I first put them in I wasn't really sure I could feel anything and kind of forgot that they were there - until I moved that is!! It's a very strange feeling, hard to describe, but nice. Running up and down the stairs with them in was an experience!! lol".
The Doc Johnson Small Black Butt Plug proves to be a bit of a disappointment, with some poor design displeasing our reviewer: "The taper doesn't go very wide before the cut-away, meaning this has more of a tendency to slip out, especially when used by a first-timer going over the top on lube. This is bad news when you want to wear the plug and go about life as normal without having to reajust every three minutes!"
Toy Joy Thai Beads however get a big thumbs up - "They dont seem too seedy too, like the whole anal sex thing does sometimes, and pulled out at the right moment they send you to orgasmic heaven!"
And the latest in toys for the boys, the Waterwoman Anal proved to be a hit too - "Pushing your penis into the warm, slippery hole was so realistic, and very arousing. You then grab the WaterWoman and, well, masturbate with it. I had a long enjoyable session and it seemed very strong throughout. After finishing, you just puncture the device so the water is removed and throw away."
Join in the Orgasm Army fun yourself - browse more reviews to find the sex toy that will suit you best, write your own review and chat with other OA members (fnar?) on the Orgasm Army discussion forums.
Friday - a hectic day at work, dashed home, no time for sex and we were in the pub for 7pm. Three pubs, one club, several after-parties, much smashed-ness and no sleep later, sex was the last thing on our minds. Eventually got to bed at 10pm Saturday night and was asleep within seconds of my head hitting the pillow.
It's 07:57 on Sunday morning and what a grey day it is. I'm sure when I woke up a couple of hours ago the sky looked blue. Or maybe I was so drunk at that point in the morning that I was totally unable to see straight...
We went out at 5pm last night and executed a pub crawl in our local town, visiting five pubs in the first hour. Have just seen a message saved on his phone as a draft to one of our mates. It was entitled 'Nah Barbahd'.
Need I say more?
We got absolutely hammered last night, danced like plonkers and I ended up making my way home on my own. Don't ask. It's not the first time! We seem to lose one another when we're in that kind of state. I fell over. My hand hurts.
I remember being stopped by a police women and her partner and suddenly becoming very lucid and explaining that I was quite alright and that she should go and spend her time with someone who really needed her assistance! I also mentioned that I had been walking the streets of my local town for years and nothing had ever happened.
Honestly, I don't think anyone in their right mind would ever try anything with me if they met me in the street when I was drunk as I am quite sure I appear totally deranged and capable of anything. I am also very sure I wouldn't hesitate to execute my own very personal form of GBH on any man who did try and accost me.
Be warned: I am not friendly with strange men when I am drunk so if you ever bump into me... :-D Men have been known to run off! Well we did have sex this morning. Do you feel randy when you're hungover?
Shane's spunk didn't make it directly into my mouth (we were in bed) but I delicately placed my finger inside myself after the event and swiped some of his lumpy (dehydrated) fluid and there was absolutely no taste of apple. I was slightly disappointed, I must confess. Anyway, I want to go to the shops now and buy some bacon etc to have a fry up. Nothing is ever as good as a home cooked one. Catch ya laters. M.
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Oh dear... once galss of weein. No... One glass of wine. Yes, that's all it takes these days. I feel that middle-age is just around the corner... But in a nice, kind of 'OK I don't have to provde myself to anyone anymore' way. :-) I was not, this evening, getting smashed with my mates.
I caught the train home from work (after a lovely upbeat day and having walked to the station from my place of work), went for a sun bed, walked along the river to my gym and met a trainer for my first of many personal training sessions at the gym.
Some might say this is a rather sad way to spend a Friday night. I beg to differ. I left home when I was fifteen and I would hate to think how many nights' sleep I have missed out on over the years. Hundreds. I have partied hard for a long, long time. And, boy, do I have some stories to tell but they're not for here, not for right now.
Shane picked me up after the gym and we grabbed a swiftie together. No, nothing sexual I'm afraid to say but just a quick drink and a catch up before returning home and jumping into the shower together. Yeh, I know it's not very exciting but I didn't sleep well last night and it was nice to just stand in the shower with the hot water raining down on us. Aaaaah. ;-)
Adieu until the next time. Off to quaff my soya milk and honey! (I can assure you I won't be so good the night of our party in October...).
You may think this blog has nothing to do with sex, but you're wrong. Looking amazing and feeling confident about yourself is the biggest turn-on ever. So read on!
At last: a reason to brave the cinema-going hordes! I love, love, love the amazing Meryl Streep she cracked me up playing opposite Goldie Horn and Bruce Willis in Death Becomes Her – and now she's back with another must-see flick, The Devil Wears Prada.
Streep plays Miranda Priestly, the terrifying Editor of fashion bible Runway, and has the power to destroy the career and reputation of a fashion designer with just one stroke of her poisonous pen. When she recruits fashion graduate Andy (played by the beautiful Anne Hathaway) to assist her on the magazine, Priestly delights in setting the frumpy grad impossible tasks. One of which being to get her hands on the unpublished manuscript of a new Harry Potter book.
Nothing to report, peeps. Just work and swimming today. Roll on the weekend. Thank Crunchie it's Friday tomorrow!
Oh, one good thing: I was told today that my copywriting was was good (by my boss)! Woohoooo!
Promise the weekend will be more interesting.
I had an exhausting day and was very tired and grumpy by the time I got home. Definitely not a recipe for a hot steamy session.
Jason got home about 8pm and we decided to go to bed.... to play a game on the laptop. We need to have an early night anyway - we have a lot of socialising to do this weekend - a leaving 'do', 2 birthdays and a club to go to, so when I get up tomorrow morning I will be awake till Saturday afternoon.
Hi there people. Sorry to be really boring as we don't seem to get up to much during the week. It's always a mad rush to get home from work, eat and just do all the various things we have to do. I'm holding a 'How many coffee beans in the jar?' competition to raise money for Macmillan Cancer when their mobile centre comes to our workplace next week. So... I was counting the beans tonight. Once... twice... three times... I am so crap at these things!
I'm ashamed to say that I'm sitting here partially dressed, typing on my laptop and Shane is twiddling some knobs. On the stereo. And OK... yes, I love looking at him, but I'm too tired to entertain more energetic thoughts I am afraid to say. Shame on me. ;-) Well the weekends make up for it. ;-)
Promise will taste soon. M.