• If you have a spare few minutes whilst at home or in work this afternoon, hop on over to the BBC website and check out their bizarre but true story of Beijing's Penis Emporium.

    Dog penises and testes, donkey cock, snake penises (snakes apparently have two each penises, according to a source quoted in the piece); sheep, horse, ox, seal and tiger. Apparently, all tastes and bank balances are catered for at Beijing's Penis Emporium.

    I know the old saying goes something like, 'Don't knock it until you try it.' But seal penis? I don't think so...

    Greetings people. Well, all I seem to have been doing the past couple of days is trying to recover from the weekend. I know, I know. I don't know why I do it either. It seemed like a good idea at the time. And, yes, I do realise all the horrible things I am doing to my body by consuming so much alcohol in one go. Hey, I'm just pre-empting someone writing to me and telling me.

    I was at the gym again last night and tonight but thankfully the only thing I'm doing tomorrow is going for the massage that I've been promising myself I'll go for for ages. Deep tissue and hopefully painful. Hey, as far as I'm concerned it can't be doing much good unless it's painful.

    Not sure that applies to everything in life but I have to see that usually the toughest of situations can reap the best of rewards. Well, maybe. Or maybe it just seems that way when you've been through a load of crap - you become grateful for any moment of pleasure! lol And the other kinds of pain? In the bedroom? I'm not adverse to a little of that. I have to say in the past that I have left some serious welts on partners. I tend to be a little more sedate and considerate these days and don't get as much of a kick out of 'marking my territory'! And pain executed on me? In moderation. Biting, being handled a little roughly. Being dominated by the lovely Shane. Aaaah. That's always a good thing... ;-)

    Until the next time.

    M.

    Another great review from Orgasm Army!

    Tantus FeelDoe Silicone Double Dildo review"The Tantus Feeldoe, designed for women by women, is an absolute delight to behold. Seven inches of purple pleasure curves upwards in a beautifully feminine way, contrasted with the provocative boldness of the bulb. It has a comforting heaviness about it, and the clitoral ridges are a reminder of pleasure that the 'giver' will also receive during lovemaking. The ridge running along the underside of the toy means that the Feeldoe can be used in harness, too, for a little extra support.

    The flexible silicone warms to the touch - no more freezing cold, mood-spoiling encounters. A little water-based lube is all that's needed to gently ease in the bulb and move the toy slightly forwards so that the ridges make contact with the clitoris. It is necessary to close your thighs tightly in order to hold the toy in place as you smoothly penetrate your partner in the missionary position...

    See the full Tantus FeelDoe Silicone Double Dildo review at Orgasm Army.

    Buy the New Tantus FeelDoe Vibrating Silicone Double Dildo at Lovehoney.

    Day: Monday 25/9/06
    Time: 9pm
    Location: On top of the bed
    Circumstances: Short tasting at the end of sex
    How did he taste? Neutral
    Sperm Test Rating: 5 (1=normal, 100=Golden Delicious Apple)

    I was completely on autopilot today at work. Coming home, I managed to walk past the flat and try to get in next door. Anyway true to my word, I made time for sex today - in fact we had loads of time. We were both naked by 8pm - Jason didn't bother getting dressed after his shower and if he's naked, I'm naked.



    We were both lying on the bed playing Civilization and reading Viz (just setting the scene folks) when the Salty Sailor reared his head and we got the urge. We agreed in advance that we were doing a tasting. We had sex, me on top. Jason definitely found my J-spot, as I have renamed it. As soon as I was done, Jason flipped us both over, the Salty Sailor gave me a jolly rogering and then at the last moment, re-aligned himself so I could get a tasting. Verdict: neutral and (oddly) quite runny.

    Didn't get up until lunchtime. We were both still exhausted from our socialising. Jason had other commitments during the day and then had an early night, so there was a distinct lack of opportunity for any shenanigans. Plus I'm a bit pre-menstrual, so I've not been thinking about it as much as usual. I feel like I'm short-changing my public. Note to self: make time for sex.

    Celebrator ToothbrushYou gotta hand it to Jonathan Ross. Not only does he have an incredibly sexy wife, a glossy mane of hair and a brilliant TV show, but he's also got a penchant for bringing out the sex toys... on national TV!

    Did any of you guys watch last Friday's show? It seems as though sex toy manufacturers are finally catching on to the thought that horny teenage girls, and those who can't afford a Rampant Rabbit just yet, turn to their electric toothbrushes for an altogether more satisfying form of oral sex.

    Yep, now you can buy a wondrous little device called the Brush Bunny, which is a mini vibe head that you attach to the end of your electric tooth cleaner. All you need to do is attach your Brush Bunny to the end of your toothbrush, flick the switch and, er, buzz away!

    The Brush Bunny isn't on sale just yet, but in the meantime, hop on over to Lovehoney.co.uk and check out their handy Celebrator Toothbrush sex toy. Just make sure you opt for lube and not toothpaste when using it...

    I'm no Cinderella, but by hell or high water I am going to the ball! Skin Two's Rubber Ball, to be precise. Let's hear it for four days of full-on fetish parties, gorgeous corsets, PVC pants and all the filthy, frisky shopping my little purse can handle!

    Skin Two's Rubber Ball is being held from the 5-8 of October, at various venues and secret locations across London. This year, it kicks off on Thursday 5 October with The Flash Monkey Cabaret Casbah (held at Cafe de Paris, Coventry Street, London), which boasts an erotic smorgasbord of burlesque dancing, live music, circus and fairground sideshow acts and DJ sets.

    Well, I didn't manage to do much of anything yesterday apart from eat, watch TV and have sex. It seems to be a routine - although a nice and not boring one - that we have fallen into of starting in the living room (proximity of wonderful boyfriend whilst we're watching the box is enough to do it for me!) and then moving to the bedroom for comfort.


    We had great sex and I did get to taste Shane's come although not by giving him a blow job. It required a deft move at the end of our love-making to get his spunk in my mouth and... well... some of it ended up dribbling out of the corner of it... I just grinned. What can you do but wipe it up with your finger and lick that finger clean? :-)


    I didn't sleep well last night so... it's off to bed for me now. Early morning tomorrow morning. *sigh* I need a holiday!


    Rating for taste of come was.. Normal.

    While the sperm testing continues apace , the Orgasm Army have been busy too. New sex toy reviews keep coming into Orgasm Army central, like the Fun Factory Smart Balls - "When I first put them in I wasn't really sure I could feel anything and kind of forgot that they were there - until I moved that is!! It's a very strange feeling, hard to describe, but nice. Running up and down the stairs with them in was an experience!! lol".

    The Doc Johnson Small Black Butt Plug proves to be a bit of a disappointment, with some poor design displeasing our reviewer: "The taper doesn't go very wide before the cut-away, meaning this has more of a tendency to slip out, especially when used by a first-timer going over the top on lube. This is bad news when you want to wear the plug and go about life as normal without having to reajust every three minutes!"

    Toy Joy Thai Beads however get a big thumbs up - "They dont seem too seedy too, like the whole anal sex thing does sometimes, and pulled out at the right moment they send you to orgasmic heaven!"

    And the latest in toys for the boys, the Waterwoman Anal proved to be a hit too - "Pushing your penis into the warm, slippery hole was so realistic, and very arousing. You then grab the WaterWoman and, well, masturbate with it. I had a long enjoyable session and it seemed very strong throughout. After finishing, you just puncture the device so the water is removed and throw away."

    Join in the Orgasm Army fun yourself - browse more reviews to find the sex toy that will suit you best, write your own review and chat with other OA members (fnar?) on the Orgasm Army discussion forums.

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