• I was completely on autopilot today at work. Coming home, I managed to walk past the flat and try to get in next door. Anyway true to my word, I made time for sex today - in fact we had loads of time. We were both naked by 8pm - Jason didn't bother getting dressed after his shower and if he's naked, I'm naked.



    We were both lying on the bed playing Civilization and reading Viz (just setting the scene folks) when the Salty Sailor reared his head and we got the urge. We agreed in advance that we were doing a tasting. We had sex, me on top. Jason definitely found my J-spot, as I have renamed it. As soon as I was done, Jason flipped us both over, the Salty Sailor gave me a jolly rogering and then at the last moment, re-aligned himself so I could get a tasting. Verdict: neutral and (oddly) quite runny.

    Didn't get up until lunchtime. We were both still exhausted from our socialising. Jason had other commitments during the day and then had an early night, so there was a distinct lack of opportunity for any shenanigans. Plus I'm a bit pre-menstrual, so I've not been thinking about it as much as usual. I feel like I'm short-changing my public. Note to self: make time for sex.

    Celebrator ToothbrushYou gotta hand it to Jonathan Ross. Not only does he have an incredibly sexy wife, a glossy mane of hair and a brilliant TV show, but he's also got a penchant for bringing out the sex toys... on national TV!

    Did any of you guys watch last Friday's show? It seems as though sex toy manufacturers are finally catching on to the thought that horny teenage girls, and those who can't afford a Rampant Rabbit just yet, turn to their electric toothbrushes for an altogether more satisfying form of oral sex.

    Yep, now you can buy a wondrous little device called the Brush Bunny, which is a mini vibe head that you attach to the end of your electric tooth cleaner. All you need to do is attach your Brush Bunny to the end of your toothbrush, flick the switch and, er, buzz away!

    The Brush Bunny isn't on sale just yet, but in the meantime, hop on over to Lovehoney.co.uk and check out their handy Celebrator Toothbrush sex toy. Just make sure you opt for lube and not toothpaste when using it...

    I'm no Cinderella, but by hell or high water I am going to the ball! Skin Two's Rubber Ball, to be precise. Let's hear it for four days of full-on fetish parties, gorgeous corsets, PVC pants and all the filthy, frisky shopping my little purse can handle!

    Skin Two's Rubber Ball is being held from the 5-8 of October, at various venues and secret locations across London. This year, it kicks off on Thursday 5 October with The Flash Monkey Cabaret Casbah (held at Cafe de Paris, Coventry Street, London), which boasts an erotic smorgasbord of burlesque dancing, live music, circus and fairground sideshow acts and DJ sets.

    Well, I didn't manage to do much of anything yesterday apart from eat, watch TV and have sex. It seems to be a routine - although a nice and not boring one - that we have fallen into of starting in the living room (proximity of wonderful boyfriend whilst we're watching the box is enough to do it for me!) and then moving to the bedroom for comfort.


    We had great sex and I did get to taste Shane's come although not by giving him a blow job. It required a deft move at the end of our love-making to get his spunk in my mouth and... well... some of it ended up dribbling out of the corner of it... I just grinned. What can you do but wipe it up with your finger and lick that finger clean? :-)


    I didn't sleep well last night so... it's off to bed for me now. Early morning tomorrow morning. *sigh* I need a holiday!


    Rating for taste of come was.. Normal.

    While the sperm testing continues apace , the Orgasm Army have been busy too. New sex toy reviews keep coming into Orgasm Army central, like the Fun Factory Smart Balls - "When I first put them in I wasn't really sure I could feel anything and kind of forgot that they were there - until I moved that is!! It's a very strange feeling, hard to describe, but nice. Running up and down the stairs with them in was an experience!! lol".

    The Doc Johnson Small Black Butt Plug proves to be a bit of a disappointment, with some poor design displeasing our reviewer: "The taper doesn't go very wide before the cut-away, meaning this has more of a tendency to slip out, especially when used by a first-timer going over the top on lube. This is bad news when you want to wear the plug and go about life as normal without having to reajust every three minutes!"

    Toy Joy Thai Beads however get a big thumbs up - "They dont seem too seedy too, like the whole anal sex thing does sometimes, and pulled out at the right moment they send you to orgasmic heaven!"

    And the latest in toys for the boys, the Waterwoman Anal proved to be a hit too - "Pushing your penis into the warm, slippery hole was so realistic, and very arousing. You then grab the WaterWoman and, well, masturbate with it. I had a long enjoyable session and it seemed very strong throughout. After finishing, you just puncture the device so the water is removed and throw away."

    Join in the Orgasm Army fun yourself - browse more reviews to find the sex toy that will suit you best, write your own review and chat with other OA members (fnar?) on the Orgasm Army discussion forums.

    Friday - a hectic day at work, dashed home, no time for sex and we were in the pub for 7pm. Three pubs, one club, several after-parties, much smashed-ness and no sleep later, sex was the last thing on our minds. Eventually got to bed at 10pm Saturday night and was asleep within seconds of my head hitting the pillow.

    It's 07:57 on Sunday morning and what a grey day it is. I'm sure when I woke up a couple of hours ago the sky looked blue. Or maybe I was so drunk at that point in the morning that I was totally unable to see straight...

    We went out at 5pm last night and executed a pub crawl in our local town, visiting five pubs in the first hour. Have just seen a message saved on his phone as a draft to one of our mates. It was entitled 'Nah Barbahd'.
    Need I say more?

    We got absolutely hammered last night, danced like plonkers and I ended up making my way home on my own. Don't ask. It's not the first time! We seem to lose one another when we're in that kind of state. I fell over. My hand hurts.

    I remember being stopped by a police women and her partner and suddenly becoming very lucid and explaining that I was quite alright and that she should go and spend her time with someone who really needed her assistance! I also mentioned that I had been walking the streets of my local town for years and nothing had ever happened.

    Honestly, I don't think anyone in their right mind would ever try anything with me if they met me in the street when I was drunk as I am quite sure I appear totally deranged and capable of anything. I am also very sure I wouldn't hesitate to execute my own very personal form of GBH on any man who did try and accost me.

    Be warned: I am not friendly with strange men when I am drunk so if you ever bump into me... :-D Men have been known to run off! Well we did have sex this morning. Do you feel randy when you're hungover?

    Shane's spunk didn't make it directly into my mouth (we were in bed) but I delicately placed my finger inside myself after the event and swiped some of his lumpy (dehydrated) fluid and there was absolutely no taste of apple. I was slightly disappointed, I must confess. Anyway, I want to go to the shops now and buy some bacon etc to have a fry up. Nothing is ever as good as a home cooked one. Catch ya laters. M.

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