Are you a craven, whimpering male yearning for punishment from your female ruler? Would nothing give you more pleasure than to feel your fesses blush at the hands of the superior sex? Are you, in short, not worthy? Let's face it, even if you're a take-charge kind of guy, it must be tempting to give up sometimes and let your partner take control - both in the bedroom and out of it. Which makes the following entry in our Design a Sex Toy competition particularly intriguing, even if it fell short of the exacting criteria required to win. Perhaps we need some more 'personal trainers' here ourselves...
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Thick-skinned? Short-sighted? Bit of a temper? If you also have grey armour plating and suffer from attacks by poachers after your horn, then the Happy Rhino sex toy isn't for you. If, however, you've always fancied dressing up as one of the world's most endangered animals for sexy fun, the designers of this entry in our Design a Sex Toy competition have taken your dream as their inspiration. We particularly like their suggestion for sophisticated types to wear the costume under a tuxedo; perhaps if you're feeling cheap and sluttish you could try wearing it under a crotchless open bust fishnet bodystocking?
Looking for a weekend of naughtiness to unleash your naked desires and enjoy the company of a lover (or three)? Check out our new dirty weekend tips to make the most of your special break!
Bored of plastic playmates? Finding it hard to cuddle your Fleshlight? Want more from life than your Cyberskin Ass Stroker can provide? If you've ever fantasised about Miss Piggy or furry, large-breasted dwarfs with no knee joints, the Teddy Babe Sex Doll is the luxury doll for you. She may be small but she's all woman - especially with her pussy velour plush insert!
Think handjobs are simple? Nothing new to learn about the knuckle shuffle? Well think again. It's true that a firm (but fair) approach will work for most men, but there are plenty of ways to spice up this entry-level sex act and provide mindblowing orgasms. These suggestions from 269 Amazing Sex Tips and Tricks for Women are designed for use by women on men, but there's no reason why men can't use them on themselves. Or on their male friends. And so on... Give them a bash and leave us a comment if you think your techniques are better.
We've gone love ring mad! Spend just £35 at Lovehoney (excluding delivery and giftware) and we'll send you 7 vibrating love rings worth £19.99 absolutely free. That's one for every day of the week! Or one for every dwarf you plan to have sex with! Sorry, got a bit carried away there...
There's nothing quite like being unable to see as you're teased and tormented for a powerful hit of erotic anticipation. Give new meaning to the phrase 'love is blind' with these blindfold tips from Cosmopolitan's book of Over 100 Triple-X Sex Tricks.
Ever wondered what a prostate massage really feels like? This great review from Orgasm Army is chockablock with hot tips for what some rate as the ultimate in full-body orgasms:
"I read a lot about this amazing toy before I finally purchased one from a local sex shop. I've been enjoying anal sex for some time, and like to use not necessarily big but small-size dildos etc, so I thought to try it out for anal fun. But what it turned out to be was totally different..."
See the full Aneros MGX Prostate Massager review at Orgasm Army.
Buy the Aneros MGX Prostate Massager at Lovehoney.