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Where can you turn when you haven't got a 10-inch cock handy to scratch that itch? Pity the frustrated punters who could only dream about the day when every home could have a Homeboy Realistic Dildo 10-inch in the cupboard, with its extra-powerful suction cup for perfect horizontal or vertical play. And thank your lucky stars that not only do we stock a crazily large range of realistic dildos (some of which are themselves crazily large), but also let you read about what they're going to do to you, as in the following review from Orgasm Army:
Weekends are made for trying out horny new sex positions, especially if they help you exercise and tone up at the same time...
Spotted in The Sun - a jobcentre in Newton Flotam near Norwich is carrying ads for a 'trampling dominatrix'.
The Vortex Vibrations Vacuum Cleaner Sex Toy has been a smash hit with Sex Toys TV viewers thanks to The Professor's star-turn in the Vortex sex toy video. But how did this slightly left-field orgasmic invention come about? Here's a word from inventor Joanne Drysdale...
Forget sweetie bags, easter eggs or chocolate coins, the best treasure hunts end up with oral sex and full screwing as your deliciously erotic prize.
Most of our Orgasm Army reviewers are so busy fiddling around with sex toys of one sort or another that we don't often see erotic books reviewed on the site. The following review, while not particularly complimentary, is honest and helpful, and the kind of thing we'd like to see more of on the site. Let us know what kind of book rocks your dirty mind, so we can keep feeding you the very best in erotic fiction.
"THONGS can only get better for ladies wanting an all-over tan this summer - thanks to this skimpy C-STRING," says The Sun as it gets hot under the collar for Lovehoney's exclusively new C-String Thong.
"Ami, 20, from Birmingham, reckoned it was a cracking idea," says The Sun, before having Ami show it off in a series of poses. You can see the lingerie slideshow on The Sun's Web site.
The Sun also went out on the London streets to find out what people thought of the new underwear: "Puzzled pensioner Jean Howard, 65, reckoned it was some sort of headphone before we put her out of her misery." Seems a harsh punishment for not being able to recognise a piece of underwear...
Do you ever gaze at the cacti on trips to the garden centre and ask yourself, 'I wonder what that would feel like in - '? We didn't think so. The Bingo vibrator is one thing, but cactus spines are something else altogether. It looks from this shortlisted design in our Design a Sex Toy competition like the designer took more inspiration from old Road Runner cartoons than peyote. Or maybe the inspiration came from using both together. It's a shame we're not going to make this one - it could have been the Wil E. Coyote of the vibrator world, ready to crush all those cutesy rabbit vibrators into submission.
As ever, we've kept the grammar and spelling true to the original submission...
This is a truly gorgeous sex position, ideal for those of you who love to be completely wrapped around your lover while getting all hot and steamy.