Use your fingers while giving your man a blow-job and watch him melt to pieces...
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Spotted in the Sunday Mirror on 24 June, a story entitled Girl Lag Demands Sex Toy in Prison. The prisoner, who claims to be a sex addict, is threatening to sue prison chiefs if they don't allow her a rabbit vibrator. She's got a point: some prisons let you have electric shavers, while smokers are allowed cigarettes (jails are pretty much the only places left where you can spark up indoors), so why not a rabbit? But the fruity lag sounds less convincing when she refers to the high-tech vibrators as 'harmless dildos'. Does she have any idea what the beads on a Lovehoney Jessica Rabbit Vibrator can do to a woman?
Back into the breach, dear friends. I've wiped the steam off my glasses and had another dip into the world wide web to look at who's giving what out for free in the wild world of erotic fiction. And these are today's findings...
- www.adultstorycorner.com looks like it was designed by a hobbit freak - sorry, a fantasy fan - covered as it is with pictures of 'enchanted faeries' and the like. It has submission guidelines, unusually for sites of this type, so no frolics with Fido here, and is also at pains (despite the kitsch decoration) to point out that it '110% endorses the USA and its allies', with a 'special corner dedicated to veterans of the USA military and its allies'. A curious mixture, to be sure.
- www.heatherssecretplace.com is a neatly designed site with near-exhaustive categories, plus an array of blog links that makes this the perfect place to dip a toe in the erotic story blogosphere.
- storiesonline.net is exactly what it says, a free and large archive of all kinds of stories, not just dirty ones. You'll need to register, but it's free and easy.
As ever, please leave comments if there are any free story sites you'd like to recommend!
OK, so it's not really a sex toy, but listen: the Classified French Maid Dress might save your sex life! Don't just take our word for it - spotted in the Metro last Thursday was a news item called Fantasies boost sex life. This probably isn't news for most of you - but a Spanish study's been bigging up sex fantasies as being less the preserve of the dirty mac brigade and more an essential part of healthy sex.
Explore your lover's anus with nothing but your tongue...
Few things warm the cockles of our hearts as much no-holes-barred enthusiasm for taking the biggest, meatiest, chunkiest, heaviest dildos we stock - and the following Orgasm Army reviewer is up there with the most enthusiastic. Sample quote: 'After riding it for a couple of hours, you go out and you feel like you still have it in you.' Doesn't this girl need to work?
Seen on the BBC website 29 June: Boyfriend pillow for Japan singles. Billed as 'the ultimate sleeping partner', this pillow with attached man arm (artificial, of course, so it'll last longer without staining the pillow) is allegedly perfect for snuggling up to when your man's away. Or has dumped you, etc. Junko Suzuki, interviewed by AP, had this to say: 'It keeps holding me all the way through. I think this is great because this does not betray me.'
Sadly the boyfriend pillow is only available in Japan at present, but we at Lovehoney have our own suggestions for keeping you girls company without snores or lager burps, ranging from the Fist of Fury, an arm that's probably a bit hard to sleep on but can do other things without getting soggy, unlike the boyfriend pillow, to the inimitable Grow Your Own Boyfriend, the perfect gift for the newly single.
When a woman's vagina gets pounded hard with constant pressure during sex, the chances of an orgasm increase greatly...
No need to go to the South Seas for your King Kong fix - now you can stay at home and dream of giant model apes (or whatever floats your boat) while trying to fit as much of the Doc Johnson Vac-U-Lock Kong Realistic 8-Inch inside you as possible. The fun-loving Orgasm Army reviewer who penned the following review put as her 'bottom line', 'If this is really and truly modeled after a real cock as the literature claims, will someone please get me the guy's number?' Cheeky girl...