"Proceed with caution" is the mantra of the day when it comes to a visit to Venus, Europe's (if not the West's) biggest sex show. The vast majority of exhibitors are here to show off off their XXX-rated pornographic wares, so you're rarely more than 6 feet away from a 40-inch plasma screen showing, well, 40 inches of rutting, sucking and fu... You can guess the rest.
So, with caution in mind, our first despatch from the show floor is relatively tame, focusing on a couple or three products that wouldn't look out of place in your living room - that is, if your living room happens to be in a brothel...
Thick, veined, vibrating bendy dongs deliver pleasure on an orgasmic platter. And we've got a fantastic new range to tickle every bit of your fancy – and much more.
Some are nubbed, others veined, some have girth and huge, bulbous heads, others are slender, bendable and long. No matter what your preference, there's something here for everyone.
Why not add one of these fabulous new realistic vibrators to your sex toy collection?
The new range of Ballbra underwear is cunningly designed to help you and your partner enjoy better sex – and you can keep your pants on!
Not only does the Ballbra provide the old chap with plenty of fresh air (when standing to attention), it cups and harnesses the balls securely to help you achieve the most explosive orgasms imaginable.
And because of its comfortable and practical design, you can wear a Ballbra all day and every day, so if you're looking for a lift and plenty of support, then the Ballbra is the answer.
There are three versions: Bare (one strap on either cheek); G-String; and Original (full rear).
Although it's just as much fun for your man to give you a pearl necklace by coming on your neck, this tip is about using an actual pearl necklace to get your man off
The other day I got an email from Ruth, giving me a link to a little story about George Clooney being pictured carrying what appears to be a Liberator Wedge. Now Ruth is a dear lass, but bless her, clearly behind the times. I mean, who finds George Clooney attractive anymore? Surely his sexual escapades (or doctor-ordered therapy, I'm not here to speculate) are of no interest to the common woman? I laughingly showed this email to the girls in the office.
Twenty minutes and half a pint of blood later, I found that I had, in fact, been mistaken about the attractiveness and viability of one Mr. George Clooney...
This week at Lovehoney get an orgasmic Space Sphere Massager worth £12.99 absolutely free when you spend £35.
Small, but perfectly formed, this powerful vibrating massager is a great sex toy for couples – gently explore each other's bodies while experimenting with the multispeed vibrations. If you're looking to introduce new toys into your relationship then the Space Sphere Massager is a great place to start!
This offer has now finished. You can check out our latest free vibrator offer here.
Bouncing around on top of your man is amazing fun and an excellent work-out for your butt and thighs
So yesterday, while talking about men with high sex drives, I made an aside comment about not having a prostate. A nothing comment, really, because gosh darnit, women don't have prostates, case closed.
Except it sort of sparked a memory of something I had read once. What can I say? I'm an internet bowerbird. I also hate making statements that I'm not completely sure are accurate, so I double-checked. And found that I was right about being wrong. According to this, what was once known as a woman's paraurethral or Skene's glands is now officially our prostate.
In real terms, that doesn't mean much to your day to day life. Except that it helps to explain the phenomenon of female ejaculation. Apparently, that is just the same thing the boys have been doing for eons. Now scientists will speculate for ages on why only some women ejaculate and blah blah blah does this have to do with survival traits and yadda yadda yadda and all I hear is...
This Thursday sees the start of Venus Berlin [proceed with caution], one of the biggest sex shows in the world. The four-day event takes place in the giant Messe exhibition centre where more than 400 exhibitors will showcase new sex toys, outrageous sex machines and acres and acres and acres of pornography. And not to mention the XXX-rated floor shows.
Of course, we're not much interested in the latter. We're heading over there to find the best new sex toys and we'll also find plenty of time to update the Lovehoney blog with the sights and sounds (but not the smells) of Venus.
We'll also be unleashing The Professor from Sex Toys TV - it'll be as much fun seeing what they make of him as what he makes of them. And crazy things like this $5,000 sex machine that we saw last year...