Men - This Is Every Reason You Need to Masturbate
Today kicks off the start of Men's Health Week: seven whole days devoted to raising awareness of male health issues around the world.
But, guys, you'll be pleased to know it's not all about wheatgrass shots and multivitamins. There's a much more enjoyable way to improve your wellbeing:
Bashing the bishop, five-knuckle shuffle, beating the meat - however you like to refer to it, masturbation has been proven time and again to have many health benefits that go far beyond a way to fill time between episodes of Game of Thrones.
Chances are, you won't need much persuading, but if you're looking to justify that jerk-off session, just read on for six awesome perks to pole-polishing you may not have considered before.
1. It's A Stress-Reliever
By their very nature, orgasms are a relief of tension. If you've found that life's getting a little too hectic and you need to 'blow off steam', as it were, then a swift dose of self-love could be the answer.
During any kind of enjoyable activity, the body releases the feel-good hormone oxytocin which helps manage stress and elevate your mood, making you feel calmer and happier.
Now, you could get that high from eating that doughnut you've been eyeing up, or you could grab a tube o' lube instead and do something much more fun.
2. It Can Help You Last Longer
If you find that you're often having to resort to thinking of rocking chairs and tax returns during sex to stave off the inevitable, you may find that a tactical tug can help.
According to sex therapists (who apparently spend a lot of time mapping masturbation habits), men who struggle with premature ejaculation benefitted hugely by masturbating around 2 hours before they had sex.
Yeah, science, b*tch.
3. It Can Boost Your Immune System
Once again, you've got hormones to thank for this one. During ejaculation, levels of immunity-boosting cortisol in the body are elevated, making it easier for you to fight infection and illness.
Masturbating regularly can help to increase the number of bacteria-killing leukocytes in your blood, which help reduce your vulnerability to germs and decrease your recovery time during sickness.
Now we know how He-Man got those arms.
4. It Improves Your Sex Life
Much like training for any big event, there are many, many ways that masturbation can help prepare you for more satisfactory sex.
Not only does it teach you what you enjoy (which you can then share with your partner), but it can also help strengthen your pelvic muscles for harder erections, and allow you to enjoy sex for longer.
So next time your partner stumbles across your browsing history, you've got the perfect excuse.
5. It Helps You Sleep
Everyone's experienced the post-sex snooze, and post-playtime isn't any different. As we've mentioned, the release of oxytocin and the relaxation of the muscles post-ejaculation prepares the body for restful sleep.
So next time you're battling insomnia or you just can't switch off after a busy day, you know what to do...
6. It Can Reduce the Risk of Cancer
In 2003, an Australian study discovered that men who ejaculated more than five times a week (that's right, 'more than') were up to 33% less likely to develop prostate cancer.
The reason for this is that over time, cancer-causing toxins can build up in your bladder, urethra, and testicles. Regular ejaculation helps to flush them out, reducing the chance of a tumour forming.
As excuses go, we think that's pretty unbeatable.
Of course, just as with all things enjoyable (such as Budweiser, Oreos, and Quentin Tarantino movies), you can have too much of a good thing.
Excessive or rough masturbation can irritate the skin, and in some extreme cases can even cause tearing of the frenulum (a.k.a. snapping your banjo string) or the flinchingly-titled 'penile fracture'. Yowch.
So make sure that you listen to your body, and, if you experience any unusual redness, soreness, or discomfort, don't power on through it.
Stop. Have a break. And, if it continues, go and see your GP.
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