• How to Masturbate Without Anybody Knowing

    One of the joys of sharing a house is that you can almost guarantee that at some point, you’ll hear your housemates bumping uglies. It’s like a university rite of passage.

    But what about when it comes to indulging in a spot of alone-time?

    No one wants their new roomies to know that they’re doing the five-knuckle shuffle after a particularly steamy episode of Orange is the New Black, and worrying about overly-loud vibrations and moans can really ruin the mood.

    So for those of you who are shy about playing with yourself whilst your friends play FIFA on the other side of the wall, we've rounded up a selection of the best quiet sex toys, as well as some tips from our experts on becoming a top undercover lover.



    How to Wank Without Being Overheard by Roommates

    Firstly, get your privacy, either by locking the door if possible, or obstructing it, if not. The last thing you want is someone barging in at a critical moment. Alternatively, try moving to the bath or shower with a waterproof toy. That way, you can lock the door, and the running water should help to mask any noise.

    If the bathroom isn't an option, get wrapped up in a thick blanket or duvet. The padding will help to muffle any racket and decrease the chance of sound carrying. For added privacy, crank up some music to drown out any unwanted moans, groans, or sex toy sounds, although you may want to consider your choice carefully. I Touch Myself blaring out from under a locked door might just give the game away.

    Finally - and perhaps most crucially - get yourself a quiet vibrator. Sadly, there's no such thing as a totally silent vibe, because of how the mechanism works, but you can certainly get some that come pretty close.


    Quiet Bullet Vibrators

    If volume is a really big issue in your house, we’d recommend a bullet vibrator. They’re tiny, and they’re as close to silent as it’s possible for a vibe to get. With a variety of speeds and patterns, each will give you a range of sensations at a whisper-quiet noise level - plus, many of them cost less than the price of a round at the bar.


    Quiet Rabbit Vibrators

    Rabbit vibrators are a little louder than bullets, but with double the stimulation, it's hardly suprising. However, opting for a silicone bunny such as these will help to reduce the noise levels, as well as giving a gorgeously smooth sensation.


    Need more help?

    You can Contact Customer Care, who will be able to help you find the right quiet toy for you. You can email, telephone or live chat to an experienced advisor from 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

    The other great place to look for people's advice is on the Lovehoney Forum, where our community is on hand 24/7 to give their opinions and tips.

    Contact Lovehoney Customer Care | Visit The Lovehoney Forum


    Add a comment
    1. Yes, please! Email me when there are more comments after mine
    2. We need to ask you a question to prove you're a human because evil spam computers keep abusing our form!