• Do Friends With Benefits Have Better Sex? Plus, Win Your Own Toyfriend!

    Win a Toyfriend TicklerSome say that there's no such thing as being "just friends" - and sometimes they're right.

    An article published in The New York Times last month about the rise of "hooking up" has led to intense debate on whether or not the "friends with benefits" dynamic can ever really work.

    Have you ever had a friends with benefits relationship? Or do you think sex is better with an emotional attachment?

    Whether or not you're a believer in the "FWB" arrangement, we're giving you the chance to win a Toyfriend of your very own!

    Comment below to enter our giveaway and be in with a chance to win a Bunny Toyfriend Waterproof Silicone Tickler (worth £26.99). Make sure to comment before August 2nd to be automatically entered.

    Read on for the best FWB articles from around the web...

    • It may or may not guarantee better sex, but friends with benefits relationships are certainly on the rise. According to a recent survey by Match.com, 47% of single adults have had a casual sexual relationship. Would you ever consider getting a hook-up buddy? ['Friends With Benefits' Relationships On The Rise - Your Tango]
    • One Night Only Erotic Encounters edited by Violet BlueIf the thought of having a friend with benefits is exciting but you're in a relationship, try indulging your fantasy with an erotic book like One Night Only Erotic Encounters (right), a collection of short stories edited by Violet Blue. With erotic stories by bestselling authors Rachel Kramer Bussell and Alison Tyler, this riveting collection explores one night stands and casual sex to ignite your imagination.
    • It's true that you can find just about anything online - including a detailed guide of how to have a FWB relationship. While I don't think relationships can be planned out so precisely, this article makes some good points about how to handle an open relationship. Do you have any advice for people interested in exploring casual relationships? [How to Start a Friends With Benefits Relationship - WikiHow]
    1. Our Video of the Week comes compliments of Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory, who tries to get his head around the notion of friends with benefits.

    The winner of the Fifty Shades of Grey Sweet Sting Riding Crop from last week is Christina. Remember to comment below for your chance to win a Bunny Toyfriend Waterproof Silicone Tickler (worth £26.99)! The winner will be chosen at random and contacted by email, so make sure to use one you check regularly.

    Wait! That's not everything

    If you've liked what you read, why not pass it on? Click on the buttons below to share it. Don't worry, you'll get a preview of what it'll look like (on Facebook and Twitter) first. Thank you, and hopefully see you this time next week!

    Comments (85)

    • sweetlove666: July 28, 2013 10:15
      It probably depends on the people involved. If they're shy in a relationship but don't really care about what a friends with benefits thinks about them, then they're probably more likely to ask for what they want.

      Relationships involve give and take, whereas friends with benefits can be for purely selfish reasons. The only problem is that with friends with benefits you both have to be clear on the boundaries and not cross them, otherwise there can be a lot of hurt and upset.

    • Lindsay Moon: July 28, 2013 10:32
      You just have to be careful you don't hook up with that person you think of as a potential partner, because that could really hurt you. I use to hook up with my ex but eventually ha to tell him I needed a break because I still had strong emotions for him outside of the sexual relationship. Eventually I got to the point emotionally that I could start it back up with him without unintentionally hurting myself (emotionally), so that was alright.
      You really just have to look out for your emotional well being. Make sure your both okay an that you're definitely okay too. You don't want any rough emotions spoiling either of your times. :(
    • jenni: July 28, 2013 10:34
      Wasn't looking for a FWB relationship but that's initially what I got. Has since developed into something so much more :)
    • PS: July 28, 2013 10:44
      I would only bother to continue a FWB relationship if the other person was good in bed, not much point otherwise. So yes the sex would be good.
    • KebertXela: July 28, 2013 10:46
      Its one of those things I see working lot better for one person than the other.
    • sarah: July 28, 2013 11:15
      I feel a FWB relationship can never be emotion free as over time you will either grow to love or resent the other person and the friendship can never go back to how it was before. A Sexual relationships is always more satisfying and the sex more intense in a emotionally stable relationship with commitment .
    • rach74: July 28, 2013 11:38
      can do if you dont get involved emotionally
    • fizzy: July 28, 2013 13:16
      I have one of the pocket toyfriends and its a good little toy i can imagine the toyfriend bunny tickler to be even more fun!
    • truegrace: July 28, 2013 13:29
      Never tried it myself, but think as long as both people know the 'rules' everything should be alright. However, from knowing mates that have been in a fwb relationship normally someone ends up hurt.
    • Cat Lady: July 28, 2013 13:50
      Never had any experience of FWB but I think it's a decent enough idea as long as the boundaries are clear.

      The toy looks cool!

    • Toy Addict: July 28, 2013 13:54
      Gotta love The Big Bang Theory. That last part killed me :)
    • mel: July 28, 2013 14:16
      yes pleasee
    • Charlotte: July 28, 2013 14:26
      Friends with benefits is always tricky. I have had a fwb a long time ago which worked fine..but I wouldn't be able to now. I didn't really see it as anything, and I suppose thinking back on it we were barely even'friends'.
    • xmorningxgloryx: July 28, 2013 14:57
      I attempted to have a FWB relationship but it didn't last very long as I had feelings for the other person. It just ended with me getting hurt and it's not something I would do again.
      I bet the bunny tickler is good! The Nosy tickler was amazing!
    • Mazz: July 28, 2013 15:31
      As long as both people are on the same page FWB makes for amazing sex without all the ties
    • piskey: July 28, 2013 15:47
      You can do FWB as long as BOTH sides know where they stand!. When it works the sex can be amazing, but you don't have to be in relationship. Only becomes tricky when one side wants to start dating!
    • horny cinderella: July 28, 2013 16:05
      Im married and have had an on off "friends who Fuck" relationship with someone who is also in a long-term relationship for almost two years. We met and initially fell head over heels but obviously couldnt be together fulltime so this works for us
    • Naughty nurse: July 28, 2013 17:16
      I have has several friends with benifits relationships and they worked out brilliantly for me. But it depends on the person and the emotional point of their life. For me it came just after I broke up from a very serious relationship and I couldn't bare the idea of ever getting close to any man again. The FWB relationships meant I could have my sexual needs met and maybe someone to watch a movie with after a quickie or maybe even grab a take away with but not have all the emotional stuff a full on relationship would bring.
      If your a jealous person then FWB will never work for you
    • Ben: July 28, 2013 18:03
      Never had a FWB, so couldn't say.
    • Angeldelight: July 28, 2013 18:35
      I've never had a FWB so I don't know ,but I wouldn't mind a bunny toyfriend please x
    • Eloise: July 28, 2013 19:42
      I don't think it'd work for me, but I am a jealous soul and I'd probably get attached too easily!

    • Caro: July 28, 2013 19:47
      When the sex is that good with a FWB then I've inevitably always wanted more, and that's when things go WRONG! Sex with a partner (or a Toyfriend!) is emotionally safer and physically better!
    • Laura: July 28, 2013 19:48
      I have had a FWB situation with an ex. It was a really liberating experience, we tried everything I had alays been to shy to ask for before. I am not sure that would have happened if we were just a regular couple as there was no pressure. However, things got complicated and ending it was a bit painful. But it was great fun while it lasted! !
    • Ken: July 28, 2013 20:11
      I've developed a FWB that has turned in to a blossoming relationship.. Initially it was based purely on sexual encounters from one to ones and threesome encounters.. but has now become a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. We mix vanilla activities with the the swinging world from dining out to holidays together and also visiting swinger clubs for hedonistic pleasures. The situation is based on trust as we discuss everything openly including our single meets with other people when we're away from each other. A FWB relationship that ticks all the boxes..
    • Dean: July 28, 2013 20:21
      Personally I have found sex with someone I love to be much more satisfying.
    • Lisa: July 28, 2013 20:21
      I like to have a FWB and a toy at the same time ;-)
    • protectyournuts: July 28, 2013 21:12
      I've known people that have had FWB and said that the relationship worked fine for them, but personally it's not for me. I prefer committed relationships but I know not everyone would agree.

      Also, kudos on The Big Bang Theory reference, most excellent.

    • Wil: July 28, 2013 22:41
      Personally I find that a FWB relationship is much more rewarding than anything I've experienced with people I've had an emotional attachment to. If you're both clear at the start about what you want and what you're prepared to give, and you're equally committed to preserving that, then it can so much fun. I've explored heaps more with FWB - without the usual hangups of everyday nonsense and emotional insecurities sex feels pure and free and a total joy - just as it should :D
    • travelnurse: July 29, 2013 02:26
      I've had FWB, I would love to have one now.
    • sexy_boy: July 29, 2013 08:21
      thank you for the article!
      also Big Bang is my favourite show :)
    • Mollie: July 29, 2013 08:27
      Friends with benefits only works in rare occasions... I know I'm likely to get emotionally attached
    • FrozenAngel: July 29, 2013 08:50
      In theory I think friends with benefits work, however in practice I don't think it's as easy emotionally. I think it will take a certain person to be able to make it work. I don't like sharing the person I'm with, so I think it would irritate me if the person was sleeping with other people.

      Also. I love BBT, Sheldon is awesome! Did you know he's 40!!!

    • Kelly: July 29, 2013 09:03
      I've had FWB previously but the sex hasn't compared to the sex I have with my partner. I think being in love with the person makes it all that much better
    • Stevie Nichol: July 29, 2013 09:18
      No not really. Because someone always wants more!
    • Marie: July 29, 2013 09:47
      Its worked for me,we both made it clear what we was entering into, it would just be purely sex and of course friendship, having a fwb is the best thing for me, we have a really good friendship,hes my best friend, were close in the friendship, way but as for relationship and feelings its just sex for both of us, i have no emotional attachment to him, he satisfys my sexual needs and i satisfy his,i have a very high sex drive and for me having a fwb is far safer for me, then to go to a club or bar and pick someone up, during my times when im hypersexual, i guess because we have a strong friendship it works for us, so far we've lasted over a year, and we both are happy
    • HoneyLara: July 29, 2013 09:56
      I'm not sure, the guy I was close to and having sex with, I did really enjoy the sex compared to a realtionship I had. And it felt amazing, though because we are good friends, and I'm not going to lie but I have strong feelings for him. It still ends up going weird and coming to a stop as it's always odd when one cares far more for the other.
      We are still good friends, and I'm extremly happy for that but don't think we will be having sex again.
      Works for some but not for me.
    • Jonathan Day: July 29, 2013 13:42
      As long as you can turn your emotions off as being good friends and intimate can lead very easily to more intense feelings of love in my opinion.
    • Teri johnson: July 29, 2013 14:01
      Depends on the people , with some yes but ,with others no, some always wants more ,
    • tre: July 29, 2013 14:28
      I've had FWB
    • SinglePlayerGamer: July 29, 2013 14:48
      Friends with Benefits is a term that has plagued me for the last 10 or so years. My best friend decided that after 2 years of me being in love with him that he wanted my benefits and that lasted on and off for about 7 years. In the end I felt that the benefit of having a sex partner who you can talk to all day and have sex with all night was not worth the feeling that you get when you realise that someone wants to talk to you all day and shag you all night and you are STILL not the person they want to date seriously.

      Since then I have mostly had casual relationships, and whilst I can be friendly enough with my hook ups someone who is a true friend surely values you enough not to want to just have sex with you.

      I am such a fan of casual relationships they are fun, they have given me so much confidence in the bedroom and out of it and have given me a chance to shag really fit guys who I wouldn't or couldn't date.

    • bumblebee: July 29, 2013 16:12
      I have the wonderfully confusing situation of, not just FWB, but he's also my ex and the father of my 3 children!!!
      For us, it seems to be working, we know each other so well, both personally and sexually and we're getting on better than ever!
      I can see how things can get awkward though and it must be such a shame for people to ruin a great friendship just for sex.
    • BigBikeGuy: July 29, 2013 17:08
      Always a tough situation to manage, feelings tend to grow and usually stronger on one side than the other. Leads to disaster and complications.
    • Taraman: July 29, 2013 17:42
      Who needs the complication of FWBs when you can have toys from LH like the Bunny Tickler?!!
    • Raine Dawson: July 29, 2013 18:17
      I've never tried it because I don't want someone to get possessive and clingy which would ruin the friendship. I'm open to the possibility though-never say never! Great giveaway chance-TY!
    • roxy: July 29, 2013 19:12
      i myself had never had a FWB relationship until i split with my ex who is the father of my kids and for us it works well we know each other well there is so stress of married life complicating things in the bed room id say it all depends on person you are . i also have a friend who has a FWB she says he is her perfect man shed settle down with but he doesn't do "COMMETMENT" so she takes what she can get as it is lol
    • rose: July 29, 2013 21:39
      Real friendship has emotional involvement and can be more authentic than the often one-sided dreaming of infatuation. Sometimes FWB is what makes the most sense for a particular relationship or certain circumstances, especially if there's relative symmetry between the situations of those involved.

      I think the articles are more about casual sexual acquaintances though. Even if we use the same words to describe a range of relationships, it would probably benefit everyone if we acknowledged how different they can be.

    • Sexy Bee: July 29, 2013 22:07
      I've had a FWB on and off for the past 10 years and it works great for both of us. If either of us enters a relationship then the sex stops but any time we're both single then we're there to help each other out during the dry spells. We're best friends and made it clear before hand that nothing romantically would ever come from it so no-one is getting hurt. I think so long as neither party is the type likely to grow attached or get jealous then friends with benefits is definitely a bonus for those periods inbetween relationships.
    • Birdyboyuk: July 29, 2013 23:02
      Have never experienced FWB, however, the time could be coming up soon!
    • maggie: July 30, 2013 01:44
      FWB can be something you end up with when unaware your being played. weighing up the pro's and con's of such an arrangement as to, who is the friend and who is getting most of the benefits, I can see how it's a useful arrangement for the personally confident able to differentiate the sutlties of a FB versus a true FWB
    • johnny: July 30, 2013 02:47
    • Mint: July 30, 2013 07:25
      Never had a friend with benefits. Don't think I can do it either. I will get emotioly attached. I can't help it. When you are together for a longer time you will develop feelings for the other person.
    • Kath Brothwood: July 30, 2013 17:32
      I never had experienced this but I'd much prefer loving proper relationship
    • Amanda Clay: July 30, 2013 18:24
      My current relationship started out as FWB because we were both living in a hostel, We started developing feelings for eachother and now we live together and have mind blowing sex! But I think it should be done carefully, as long as both parties are single and no one gets hurt, then it's okay :) sometimes a bit of no-strings can help.
    • Mint: July 30, 2013 18:34
      Like I said. FWB for a longer time and the feelings started developing.
    • kelly-ann murray: July 30, 2013 20:19
      I don't mind, I worked with my boyfriend first and became more than friends over time. :) (fab prize)
    • Angela: July 30, 2013 22:00
      If I had a toy friend I would not need a friend with benefits
    • George: July 30, 2013 22:38
      Fwb is a bad film
    • KinkyFuckery: July 30, 2013 22:54
      I couldnt do FWB too hard hearts break
    • Donna: July 31, 2013 00:20
      My opinion is no. Someone always gets hurt. I've entered a few FWB feeling strong and at a place where I just wanted NSA, I got hurt every single time.
    • Little Lady: July 31, 2013 00:39
      Personally no, I don't think friends with benefits have better sex. I've had quite a few sexual encounters, most of them being with friends of mine. The sex was terrible with all of them and it was awkward and confusing the day after, due to this they stopped talking to me. One friend of mine, we discussed having sex together but it never happened because I could see the pattern of a fuck buddy occurring and I didn't want that at all. He would only talk to me when he wanted one thing and I'm sorry, I'm not being used for sex if I'm not that fussed to give it back.

      I've personally come to realise that I like having sex more when I'm in a relationship than having sex with friends who I can fuck time and time again, and even if it were to be amazing, it just doesn't feel as good to me.

    • Charlotte: July 31, 2013 00:58
      Definitely better in a relationship, i can trust the person more and feel free to explore my kinky side without being judged, and feel alot more comfortable in myself!
    • Rebecca: July 31, 2013 11:01
      I have had fwb in the past, I enjoyed the benefits at the time, but having said that being married and comfortable with our relationship and myself I have explored far more sexually things than i ever would have done before
    • Pr4wnSt4r: July 31, 2013 14:19
      Not really, sex is best when it's with someone you care about, all the passion and emotion is there. Friends with benefits are just physical, no feelings, no emotions. And to add to that there's the risk of wanting more than sex whereas the other just wants sex, not worth the risk. I think sex is an act of love for one another, whether its passionate or kinky.
    • George: July 31, 2013 18:40
      I don't think FWB works, but Toys-With-Benefits do!
    • naughtnurse: July 31, 2013 19:08
      Ive had a few FWB attachments, and at the time they served a purpose, which was to gave great naughty sex, which i most certainly did, they also allowed me to explore my sexual desires that werent discovered in my marriage, however im not sure id say the sex with FWB would be better than sex in a relationship as im quite a naughty little minx when i get going and so know what i like and what i dont and therefore would take that into a relationship!! just gotta find that guy that wants it!!!
    • wreck it Ralph: July 31, 2013 19:12
      I think it could work if both managed not to get emotionally involved. I mean say one wanted more and the other didn't, how could you stay friends? If both managed to limit it to just sex then it could prove good for both but how long can anyone go with having sex and not feeling some sort of attachment to that person. Plus is there any better feeling than having sex with someone you love and making that person cum?
    • Alice: July 31, 2013 19:17
      I have one and it's awesome! Safer than hooking up with a stranger when you have an itch that needs scratching I'd say.
    • James B: August 01, 2013 09:07
      Even before I was married, friends with benefits just sounded awkward. Maybe I just didn't have any hot enough friends! Or I'm just the kind of guy who wants a little emotion in there too; if not, a little alone time works just fine!
    • Stuart: August 01, 2013 14:36
      I could see that it could be useful in certain circumstances but how you couldn't get emotionally attached I find hard to believe..
    • Abanthis: August 01, 2013 17:03
      I've done it briefly, and what helps is being realistic and honest. Casual doesn't have to mean meaningless!
    • Cin: August 01, 2013 19:43
      FWB relationships were fab when the kids were young. After my ex died I really didn't want a line of blokes in and out of my bedroom throughout their formative years. Having uncomplicated arrangements with a couple of guys over the years really allowed me to express myself sexually without my kids seeing me in compromising positions. Now they are grown up with lives and relationships of there own I have discovered the absolute joy of a committed healthy relationship, and I wouldn't change that for anything. FWB was brilliant for a specific part of my life, but now the closeness and emotional attachment means my marriage is just what I need.
    • EstherHarshom: August 01, 2013 20:20
      I can't help but think that a rabbit vibe is always just a regular vibe that's flashing me the V.
    • SassyFF: August 01, 2013 20:55

      SEx with benefits can definately work if played out the right way. A few years ago my other half was working away a lot, and our b/f was having problems with his misses, my o/h suggested he stay at ours a few nights a week to get out of the house and sort their problems out. While me o/h was away we had web cam sex I would have an array of toys with me (chosen by my o/h and he would tell me what to do for him in front of the cam.

      Then one weekend when my o/h was home our b/f was over yet again and we were all drinking, our b/f started talking about his lack of sex with his o/h and said how do we cope with being apart during the week. my o/h blurts out everything, telling him how huge my sexual appetite was and how i would wear him out when he got home.

      He then suggested that our b/f keep me company while he was away. At first i was very wary of course i loved our b/f as we had known him for 20 years but not in an i want to sleep with you kind of love. I was happy with the toy arrangement and was worried that this would cause problems in our relationship.

      However after a couple of will we wont we wham bam back to you room thank you mam, no passion no orgasm he got what he wanted attempts, the friends with benefits becan to blossom. And while my o/h was away I regularily had sex with my b/f.

      After a few months he and his o/h (whom never knew about out arrangement) finally sorted their problems out and they got back together. and we have remained close friends as we were before, my other half and I are still as close and sexually active as ever and our b/f is regarded as an even closer b/f.

      Friends with benefits definately worked for us but i dont know how well it would work if we were single, as i worry emotions rather than sexual lust would have got in the way

    • silverbubblegum: August 01, 2013 21:56
      Surely you can't ask for what you want from a FWB, i imagine it'll just be the both of you trying to get off separately (like with toys for the woman, penetration for male) and not really looking to explore what you like sexually. With a long term partner you have the confidence and trust to ask for fantasies or different positions.
      I guess if the FWB is your best friend though, it'll be similar to the partner
    • Celena Clause: August 01, 2013 23:36
      Completely in favour of FWB, solely because I'm not that into finding love at the moment. With FWB you don't have to deal with the complexities of a relationship, like buying each other gifts or taking each other on dates, or being labelled boyfriend and girlfriend. You get all your sexual needs fulfilled without the hassle.
    • Sir.Nick: August 02, 2013 06:52
      Hope I'm not to late to enter. Big bang is terrible tho.
    • Simone: August 02, 2013 09:17
      Not in favour of FWB but definitely in favour for this cute toy!
    • BelledUK: August 02, 2013 13:43
      I should be so lucky, lol, would love the lack of complication
    • Missy: August 02, 2013 17:18
      Yessss please (to the toy not the FWB)
    • Coleycole: August 03, 2013 15:50
      There's to much potential for heart acke
    • Han Solo: August 03, 2013 16:20
      Love how some bloggers who get things for free in exchange for a review still want more freebies...
    • Ken: August 04, 2013 12:11
      Never actually had a friend with benefits lol, so can't really say. I imagine it could get complicated quite quickly though.
    • chris: August 04, 2013 21:19
      fwb ,can be fun, but you cant beat , a loving relationship with your wife :)
    • Han Solo: August 07, 2013 15:03
      My wife is my friend with benefits.
    • Lynn: January 09, 2016 21:33
      I've had several friends with benefits situations and in each of them I always say to myself, if/when I or he starts to develop stronger feelings that thenothernperson doesn't have then it should be ended.
      My current partner and I started out as friends with benefits and our sex life is amazing however I think that's just cause we are so a like and are into the same stuff.
      I do think generally sex is better as personally I'm not as afraid to ask for what I want.
    Add a comment
    1. Yes, please! Email me when there are more comments after mine
    2. We need to ask you a question to prove you're a human because evil spam computers keep abusing our form!