• I've started to suffer with premature ejaculation. How can I delay my orgasm?

    I've started to suffer with premature ejaculation. How can I delay my orgasm?

    As yours has started fairly recently, I think it’s likely to be more psychological than physical - but please don’t worry as it’s a common problem - and it can be got over.


    julie-peasgoodOver the last year I have started to suffer with premature ejaculation after only several minutes of intercourse. Previously my wife would always achieve orgasm before me. Do you have any advice in terms of any medication or tips in order for me to delay orgasm and keep my erection for longer?



    Julie Answers...Medication is not the usual approach for tackling premature ejaculation. When it’s been a problem for a considerable time then GPs sometimes try prescribing an anti-depressant (only because one of the side effects of anti-depressants is that they can slow down ejaculation). But these tend to be prescribed more when the problem is a long term one. As yours has started fairly recently, I think it’s likely to be more psychological than physical - but please don’t worry as it’s a common problem - and it can be got over.

    I’m wondering if something was going on in your life around the time when the PE started. Were you more stressed or anxious than usual? Were there any unresolved tensions between you and your wife? Even if whatever triggered it has now gone away, it may be your fear of coming too quickly that’s now making it happen - what therapists call ‘performance anxiety’. Talking through your concerns with your wife may help you to relax, and you may find the problem just fades away.

    Fortunately, there are various techniques that people find helpful. One is to focus on something (or somebody!) very offputting to you as you feel yourself approaching ejaculation. Combined with slowing down or stopping thrusting, this can slow you down.

    Another is to withdraw your penis as soon as you feel your orgasm approaching. You or your wife should then squeeze the head firmly between the thumb and forefinger for ten seconds or so, to halt the blood flow before continuing, and repeat as necessary until you choose to ejaculate.

    And an approach often overlooked just because it is so simple, is to give your wife an orgasm orally or manually first, so that the issue of how long you ‘last’ during intercourse is not so crucial. Or masturbate shortly before intercourse, to slow yourself down for what will then be your second orgasm.

    You could also try a desensitising cream or delay condom. These contain a numbing agent (usually benzocaine) to prolong lovemaking, and Lovehoney stock a good selection of both.

    I hope this is helpful. Whatever approach you take, it will help if you can talk to your wife about it, and get her support.


    The Greatest Guide to SexRefreshingly frank and funny, actress and presenter Julie Peasgood delivers practical information to transform your sex life. The Greatest Guide to Sex explores the world of eroticism, revealing secrets and techniques that will energise and enhance your enjoyment.

    Comments (2)

    • Philippe: June 16, 2012 09:09
      I am 80 (and absolutly errectile disfunctional) and my girl friend 65, and yet we have the most wonderful finger sex, with me bringing her off ten or more times a night with a combination of clitorial and full vaginal orgasims as well as the most wonderful 'squiriting' Making her happy and fulfilled gives me so much very real pleasure and increases our deeplove for each other

      Sorry kids, but us old ones can have fun too!

      Philippe-

    • Lesley: June 19, 2012 20:56
      Sex and sexual activity is for all ages and i agree with you. Interesting comment Philippe!!
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