• I find penetration quite painful, what can I do?

    I find penetration quite painful, what can I do?

    Trying to have sex before you’re ready results in pain, which not surprisingly, blocks arousal. If this happens a few times, it can start to make you apprehensive about penetration, which will further inhibit your body’s natural ability for enjoyment.


    julie-peasgoodI find penetration quite painful, so I get very nervous just before sex, which probably makes things more difficult and awkward. I really want to satisfy my lover, he is wonderful and the sex is awesome, but is there anything I can do to prepare myself before?



    Julie Answers...There are a few gynaecological conditions such as fibroids, ovarian cysts, endometriosis and cystitis that can cause painful intercourse, so it’s essential that you visit your GP to rule them out. However, the biggest cause of pain on penetration is lack of sexual arousal. When a woman gets aroused, her vagina gets wider and longer and lubricates as your body prepares you for penetration. Trying to have sex before you’re ready results in pain, which not surprisingly, blocks arousal. If this happens a few times, it can start to make you apprehensive about penetration, which will further inhibit your body’s natural ability for enjoyment.

    Assuming your GP gives you the all clear, my advice would be that you spend more time focussing on your arousal before attempting penetration. Ask your lover to really take his time to caress, relax and tease you until you’re sure you’re fully lubricated - and invest in a water-based personal lubricant like Swoon Smooth Mover (£12.99) to top up your own natural juices, too. Then start with a finger or two first to ensure it’s comfortable for you before attempting intercourse. You might also find it easier if you’re on top, as you can then be fully in control of the speed and depth of penetration.


    The Greatest Guide to SexRefreshingly frank and funny, actress and presenter Julie Peasgood delivers practical information to transform your sex life. The Greatest Guide to Sex explores the world of eroticism, revealing secrets and techniques that will energise and enhance your enjoyment.

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