• How to strap a dildo to a chair

    Hella Dildo Ball

    Each week, hundreds of people find Lovehoney after searching the internet for solutions to their sex problems.

    Our alternative agony aunt Hella answers the questions you were too shy to ask anyone (except Google).

    Today:

    How to strap a dildo to a chair

    You may be making life harder for yourself than it need be. You can pick up a ready-made chair dildo for hands-free thrills on your favourite furniture.

    If you’re really, REALLY fond of a particular dildo and want to adapt it, you have a few choices but many of them are going to involve some DIY.

    If you have a flared-base dildo, you may be able to get it to stick to your chair by licking the bottom and forcefully slamming the base onto the chair. Simple! If your dildo doesn’t have a flared base that sticks, you’re in for some graft…


    To modify a flat base dildo you will need:

    • A piercing scribe or similar pointed object
    • Something to tie your dildo down such as string or ribbon - 6 metres (or however much you’ll need to tie your dildo down to your chosen chair).
    • A protractor

    Step-by-step instructions for how to strap a dildo to a chair:

    1. Turn your dildo upside down and use your protractor to mark points at every 90 degrees. In clock language, this is 12 o’clock, 3 o’clock, 6 o’clock and 9 o’clock. Make your marks 2cm away from the edge of the base.
    2. Take your scribe and use it to puncture through the marks you’ve made, creating four holes.
    3. Cut your string or ribbon into four 1.5m lengths.
    4. Place the end of a length of string or ribbon over the hole and use the scribe to push it through the hole.
    5. Pull the string through so that the length hangs on the underside of the dildo. Knot the string on the upper side of the flat base.
    6. Repeat with the other three holes and lengths of string.
    7. Sit your dildo upright on your chair of choice and pass the lengths of string under the seat. Tie the strings together tightly to prevent your dildo from shifting.

    If your dildo hasn’t got a flat base, I would urge you to check out the chair dildo. You really are making life really hard for yourself now.

    You could turn it into a flared-base dildo by plugging a funnel, filling it with liquid latex and suspending your dildo in the solution until it hardens (this will take about 2 weeks to cure effectively) and follow the instructions for a flared-base dildo, or you could put a huge dollop of tensol glue on the end of your dildo and another on the chair and allow it to dry, creating your own sex furniture.

    I really would recommend buying the chair dildo, though.

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