• When it's my turn to go on top during sex I lose all my confidence and I freeze.

    When it's my turn to go on top during sex I lose all my confidence and I freeze.

    Don’t compare yourself to porn stars - remember, they’re acting, and when they perform, there’s no emotional connection. Instead, look your man in the eyes as you move, and the chances are he’ll find it a huge turn-on.


    Question for Julie

    When it's my turn to go on top during sex I lose all my confidence and I freeze. What shall I do I just want to be able to go on top of my boyfriend without freezing?

    Julie Answers...

    There are loads of women who feel uncomfortable on top. Aside from the obvious worry that our loved one has a close-up view of our wobbly bits bouncing around like jelly, we also worry about our performance and stamina.

    The reality is this: when you’re on top you are in charge and most men find this extremely erotic. You control the movement and the depth. Don’t compare yourself to porn stars - remember, they’re acting, and when they perform, there’s no emotional connection. Instead, look your man in the eyes as you move, and the chances are he’ll find it a huge turn-on.

    You can gain more confidence initially by facing each other - with you straddling him - and making love in an upright position. Caressing each other’s bodies and kissing will help you to relax. Once you feel a little braver he can lie down, place his hands on your body and move with you.

    If you feel horribly self-conscious you could also try being on top with the lights off - or strike a compromise and opt for candlelight, which is very flattering. You could even blindfold your man, which should increase his desire, plus you’ll feel so hot and in control, you won’t worry about freezing up…


    The Greatest Guide to SexRefreshingly frank and funny, actress and presenter Julie Peasgood delivers practical information to transform your sex life. The Greatest Guide to Sexexplores the world of eroticism, revealing secrets and techniques that will energise and enhance your enjoyment.

    Comments (1)

    • Barbara: November 17, 2011 12:41
      Don't lose all your confidence when you want to go on top. Both me and my husband find it extremely pleasurable, as i loving feeling in control. It also helps me climax a lot earlier, and gives me good orgasms as i am in control of how deep penetration is. So all i can say is go for it and enjoy.
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