• How can I get my girlfriend to tape her fingers together and pretend she's a dinosaur?

    Hella Sex DollEach week, hundreds of people find Lovehoney after searching the internet for solutions to their sex problems.

    Our alternative agony aunt Hella answers the questions you were too shy to ask anyone (except Google).

    Today:

    How can I get my girlfriend to tape her fingers together and pretend she's a dinosaur?

    I’ve dealt with puppy play and pony play before, but this is a new one on me. I’m not sure which angle you’re going for here.

    Are you on a gigantism kick, genuinely turned-on by massive lizards or are you just aiming to make your Mrs look like an idiot?

    I suppose it doesn’t really matter, whether your desire to turn your girlfriend into Godzilla is genuinely sexually motivated or not, it can be done. If you’re unable to hypnotise her like Derren Brown, then follow my easy step-by-step guide to Getting Your Girlfriend to Tape Her Fingers Together and Pretend to be a Dinosaur...


    Step One

    Ask her. If she says no without asking why you would want her to do that, she clearly isn’t the woman for you. If she asks you why, use your powers of persuasion to talk her into it.

    Step Two

    Buy her a Dinosaur Kigu, it’ll come naturally. Tell her it’s more effective if she tapes her fingers together.

    Step Three

    Indulge in some kinky roleplay. Tie her down with bondage restraints and use a feather tickler to make her beg for mercy. Tell her you’ll stop, but only if she tapes her fingers together and pretends to be a dinosaur as soon as she’s released.

    Step Four

    Tell her you’ve got something special planned and blindfold her. Turn her into a human puppet using bondage rope, tape her fingers together and put on your own dino show. RAR!

    Step Five - The Last Resort

    Bondage tape her fingers together and say you'll make her extinct if she doesn’t make like a raptor (disclaimer: this may result in arrest).

    Comments (2)

    • The Nymphomaniac: August 16, 2011 12:53
      Or look into getting a Godzilla mask and gloves: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/158/374694504_553fdc16bd.jpg

      Great blog post ^_^

    • silverdrop: August 16, 2011 14:02
      Anyone who would say no to such a harmless fetish is definitely not a keeper.
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