He has no idea how to please me and I feel cruel telling him he's doing it wrong!
Illustrate the pressure you like on your clitoris, the speed you like, what other areas of your vagina you like to be touched… and then gradually ease your hand away.
I need some way to train my boyfriend how to pleasure me as he seems to have no idea and I feel cruel telling him he’s doing it wrong! It’s gotten to the point where I just avoid it and I'm in need of some tips.
It’s difficult to tell a loved one they aren’t quite hitting the spot, but how do you think your boyfriend would feel if he knew you weren’t enjoying sex with him, and were perhaps even faking it for his benefit? Avoiding sex won’t be good for your relationship, so you need to take action.
Don’t tell him he’s doing it wrong – instead show him how to get it right. Next time you get into some foreplay (and make sure you do, by the way) take his hand and guide him to stimulate your sweet spot. Illustrate the pressure you like on your clitoris, the speed you like, what other areas of your vagina you like to be touched… and then gradually ease your hand away. When he gets it right, tell him what an amazing lover he is.
A different and slightly more obvious approach is to let him watch you bring yourself to orgasm, so he can see for himself exactly what technique you use. This also works in reverse, if you’d like an added insight into how he operates by himself.
If this doesn’t work, sit him down and have a good one-to-one about it. There are ways of expressing your desires and needs without offending him. One method is the double bluff:
You: “I really like it when you touch me there like that.”
Him: “Oh, I didn’t realise that I did...”
And a seed is sown. Before you know it, next time you get down and dirty, he will touch you ‘there’, like ‘that’. And when he does, tell him again what an amazing lover he is - several times!
Refreshingly frank and funny, actress and presenter Julie Peasgood delivers practical information to transform your sex life. The Greatest Guide to Sexexplores the world of eroticism, revealing secrets and techniques that will energise and enhance your enjoyment.