• My boyfriend thinks I'm unhappy with our sex life as I'm shy in the bedroom. How can I reassure him?

    My boyfriend thinks I'm unhappy with our sex life as I'm shy in the bedroom. How can I reassure him?

    Not by thrashing about and screaming - and pretending to be something you're not!


    Question for JulieQuestion:

    I am quite a shy person and tend not to go overboard about anything really. This is also how I am in the bedroom, and although I am the silent type I do enjoy myself!

    My new boyfriend can’t seem to believe I am happy though, because I don’t express my satisfaction vocally. Apparently every other girlfriend has been very noisy in bed and he likes that. How can I reassure him but still be true to myself?

    Julie Answers...Julie Says:

    Not by thrashing about and screaming - and pretending to be something you’re not! I wonder if your boyfriend is quite noisy himself and he’s unnerved that you’re not joining in - or maybe he wants all the neighbours to know how much he drives his women wild?!

    Seriously, he may be unsettled by your silence because he needs more feedback, in which case it’s a good idea to indicate when he’s getting it right - but only turn up your volume to a level that’s comfortable for you.

    You could also practise being more vocal when you’re alone. If you experiment with making sounds when you’re touching yourself, you’ll find it becomes easier to express yourself that way when you’re with him.

    The Greatest Sex Tips in the WorldRefreshingly frank and funny, actress and presenter Julie Peasgood delivers practical information to transform your sex life. The Greatest Sex Tips in the World explores the world of eroticism, revealing secrets and techniques that will energise and enhance your enjoyment.

    Comments (1)

    • BashfulBabe: May 30, 2011 20:01
      Other option, if she really doesn't feel comfortable or natural being vocal during sex, is to be 'vocal' afterwards. Tell him how you loved when he did X, or how good Y was. Doesn't have to be a clinical review, but as long as you're giving him some form of feedback as to what you liked (or didn't like!), he doesn't have to feel like you're just putting up with it because you love him and don't want to disappoint.
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