• This Is Your Sex Life: Inside One Woman's Sex Toy Box

    Ecksvie is a bi-curious female, going steady with a boyfriend (although looking for a girlfriend as well!)

    Sex toys are important to me because they’re so much more than a quick and easy way to get off! They’re a great way of exploring your partner and discovering what works for you and reaching places that fingers and… erm… other appendages can’t reach! Sex toys give you so many options to pleasure your partner, as well as making it so much easier to pleasure yourself.

    I often hear talk from those I like to call the “unenlightened” who believe that if you have a partner you don’t need sex toys, but nothing could be further from the truth. My sex life has improved several times over since I started using toys, and my boyfriend uses them on me more than I use them myself! Having a fulfilling sex life features on the priority list of many couples, so why is it acceptable to pleasure yourself or your partner in one way but not in another? There’s only so far you can go with bodies alone, and there’s no reason to restrict yourself in that way.

    I bought my first toy in July 2009 and my collection has been growing ever since. Barely over a year and you can already see how much my collection has grown, so I’m both excited and worried for the future. Excited because of how much more there is to try (I’m certain that I could buy a new sex toy every week and never run out of new things to try), but worried because I’m already running into difficulty as to where I’m going to keep them! I started off with one of those small lockable cash boxes but I soon outgrew that one. I’ve gone through numerous toy boxes, and I currently have a toolbox for my favourite toys. I currently live with other people, so all my storage solutions have to be discreet and lockable.

    1. My first sex toy was...

    Doc Johnson Vivid Dreams Briana vibrator

    My first sex toy was the Doc Johnson Vivid Dreams Briana vibrator. Me and my boyfriend, who I’d been with 8 months at the time, were trying every new sexual thing we could think of, but there eventually came a point where we ran out of ideas. I’d keep asking him what else we could try, but he told me that there wasn’t much else he could think of that didn’t require “additional equipment”. So, additional equipment it was! I'd been sort of wanting a sex toy for years, although never really admitting it to myself. The mere mention of getting one was like I suddenly had permission to do something I’d always wanted, the final push I needed.

    Truth be told, I couldn’t have picked a much worse vibrator for my first. I got all excited about the shininess of it and ooh! It’s like being penetrated three times! Had I stopped to think, I’d have realised that if there’s any part of sex I don’t like, it’s the penetration. Even now, well over a year later, it’s still uncomfortable to insert so I tend to use this toy on my clit. Thankfully, even though I’d picked something that didn’t work for me, it didn’t put me off sex toys in the least. A few weeks later I bought myself two more and they were much more suited to me. I make a point now to learn from each toy I buy, and when I’m considering more I compare them to toys I already have to figure out if I’d like them or not.

    2. My newest sex toy is…

    Waver Bunny Rabbit vibrator

    My newest sex toy is the Waver Bunny Rabbit vibrator. I’d my eye on it for absolutely ages, but as much as I love sex toys, anything much more than £20 is a difficult thing for me to justify. I eventually made the leap when I found a few other things I wanted, and with my VIP code from my last order in hand, I closed my eyes and pressed the button. I love rabbits because they’re not like standard vibrators. I love the feeling of movement inside me, as well as simultaneous vaginal and clit stimulation which is the only way I can orgasm. The Waver intrigued me because of the design – it could give me something for the complete length of the shaft. I’d seen a display model of this one back when I was searching for my very first toy and thought “No way!” The shaft is rather large, but I love the sensation of this one stretching me, although there’s no w­ay I could handle a man of the same size! I’ve got my eye on a few thrusting rabbits – I think I’ll be having one of those for my next toy.

    3. My favourite sex toy for guaranteed orgasms is…

    Lovehoney Jessica Rabbit 2.0 Vibrator

    The toy that I’m constantly reaching for is my Lovehoney Jessica Rabbit 2.0 Vibrator, affectionately named Clyde! I need vaginal and clitoral stimulation at the same time and this one certainly does it for me. Everything about it is perfect. The movement of the shaft is brilliant and hits me in all the right spots. I can only wish that my boyfriend could move like that! I tend to use this one on my own, although occasionally if my boyfriend wears out before I do, I’ll get this one out and have him watch me pleasure myself. Clyde is looking a bit worse for wear now. Mashing the ears against my clit has resulted in them moving side to side rather than up and down, the pearly lining of the beads has all come off and the beads like to escape up the shaft, but I’m determined that I’ll keep going with it until it eventually dies, and then I’ll be immediately replacing it. Couldn’t live without this one!

    4. My favourite sex toy to use with a partner is...

    Lovehoney Bang Bang Bunny

    Without doubt, the Lovehoney Bang Bang Bunny Love Egg Vibrator. This was one of the two I bought after my first, and I had an incredibly lucky find with this one. Generally I dislike fiddly clit vibes as I can never get them in the right place. Had I discovered this one before I discovered that preference, I would never have bought this one and it would have been an incredible loss. I can get nothing out of this one on my own, but my boyfriend works absolute wonders with it. The ears are ideal for getting right underneath the clit hood, and it gets massive points for being a moving toy rather than just vibrating. Can’t recommend this one highly enough.

    5. The sex toy that changed my life was…

    Durex Play Feel

    Perhaps not a toy in the truest sense of the word, but the accessory that made the biggest change to my sex life was lube. When I lost my virginity, it hurt so much I almost consider it a preview of childbirth. I had sex several times after that over the next few weeks, and although it hurt a bit less, it was still pretty painful. There was no lack of foreplay but it wasn’t until I suggested lube as a solution worth trying that we got anywhere, and it was the first time having sex that was half way to enjoyable. I tend not to have problems now, but I still make sure that there’s never any lack of lube in my toy box. I usually wait until I find a shop that has it on special offer, then go embarrass myself by marching up to the cashier’s desk, enough lube in my hands that it looks like I must be planning an orgy! I’ve tried many different sorts of lube, but the one I go back to is the very first one I tried, Durex Play Feel.

    6. My quirkiest sex toy is…

    BASIC Sex Toys Vibrating Finger Bullet

    A difficult one to answer as I don’t have anything I’d consider particularly quirky. I must say I like the BASIC Sex Toys Vibrating Finger Bullet. You don’t really get the full effect from the product pictures, but it really does look like a little alien wanting a hug! I haven’t got a tremendous amount of use out of this one since I generally prefer big toys that I can mash my clit with, but I do like to get this one out to have a giggle at occasionally. So cute!

    7. The sex toy everyone must have is…

    Bondage Boutique Soft Handcuffs

    I’m going to be cheeky and say two! It’s so difficult to pick one of my toys as they all have their own uses for different things, but a pair of wrist restraints and a blindfold is something that should be in everyone’s collection. They’re so versatile, there’s so much you can get out of them. Even when you’ve done everything sexually you can think of, it becomes a whole different ball game when you’re doing it cuffed and blindfolded. As well as adding a kink factor to previously vanilla sex acts, they’re also a useful tool in getting up the courage to do new things that you might perhaps be too scared to do with your partner watching you. There’s also a confidence boost with having power over your partner. And of course, once you start enjoying being cuffed, there's a whole world of bondage gear for you to experiment with.

    The cuffs I started off with, which I can recommend to beginners and enthusiasts alike, are the Bondage Boutique Soft Handcuffs. There are so many reasons I love them. Very comfortable to wear. Velcro fastening means that you can tighten them to your exact specifications as well as being quick to remove when you need to. The central clips enable you to fasten them to each other or whatever else you like (I have chains that I attach to the bedposts). I’ll likely be buying some new cuffs soon as I’m now wanting something a bit more hardcore, as well as some ankle cuffs, although I might just buy a second pair of these!

    Comments (11)

    • Masterandslave: October 12, 2010 13:47
      Fab article hun! Think we have very similar tastes looking at your photo and your selected toys. I'm in total agreement about lubricant - I now need it for everything, don't know how I did without it!! I know what you mean about the finger bullet too - I always saw it as a strange snail eyed thing! But it does the job!
    • pyjamaparty: October 12, 2010 13:59
      Fab article Ecksvie. I need to build my collection some more - it looks distinctly lacking in comparison to yours.
    • linda howarth: October 12, 2010 14:52
      what a fantastic collection of toys and what a great blog thanks for sharring with us
    • LoveHoney - Alice: October 12, 2010 15:16
      Hang on a minute, have you snuck a bingo dauber in the middle of the picture?
    • Ecksvie: October 12, 2010 17:08
      lol no, but which one looks like it?
    • Masterandslave: October 12, 2010 19:06
      I think it's the white and pink rocket shaped one next to the Sqweel!
    • Toxycat: October 12, 2010 20:02
      What a fab article and im loving your collection of toys!!!!
    • Cady: October 12, 2010 21:55
      How did you get your boyfriend to be so open minded. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly three years and the mere mention of toys makes him shudder and feel serverley inadequate. Help?
    • Paul: October 12, 2010 22:31
      Well done Eks hun!
      Nice looking collection, And great read!!!
      Paul ;) xx
    • Paul: October 12, 2010 22:35
      @ Cady...

      Come over to the forums, introduce yourself and Let us know who you are.
      The OA is a very unjudgemetal and friendly community, And I guarantee there wil be a load of us willing to help.
      The members hold a wealth of knowlage and ideas so come on in and take a look ;)

    • Masterandslave: October 13, 2010 10:28
      Here's the link hun to the forums - just come and have a read of what's up there if nothing else. We don't bite unless asked nicely!
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