I'm at retirement age and I think I recently orgasmed through nipple play. Is this possible?
Our bodies may not always respond as quickly as they used to, but the freedom that retirement offers leaves more time to play...
My husband recently retired from a high pressure job and this, combined with watching you on Alan's show and reading your columns and Internet advice, seems to have revitalised our interest in sex.
I have always had very sensitive nipples, but recently something happened which I have not experienced before. I think I actually had an orgasm just from my husband playing with them! Is this possible or normal?
I suppose we are taking more time to indulge ourselves than we used to, but even so I was rather surprised and wondered whether perhaps it was all in my imagination. Also, I quite like my nipples being sucked or pulled on quite hard. I have had children (a long time ago) and seem to be able to enjoy it without undue pain, but I wondered whether it is safe?
I never thought I'd be writing a letter as frank as this, Julie, but I think you've rather liberated us!
I’m so glad that reading and watching my work has revitalised your interest! I’ve always believed that sex doesn’t have to fade from our lives as we get older. Our bodies may not always respond as quickly as they used to, but the freedom that retirement offers leaves more time to play...
Another good thing as we get older is that we tend to be less self-conscious, helped by the fact that often people have been with their partners for years. This can work both ways: we can either stop making the effort to please and enjoy each other or, as you describe, we can experiment and continue to discover new areas of pleasure, unhampered by inhibitions.
So it doesn’t surprise me that you experienced an orgasm just from your nipples being played with. Any area of the body can become eroticised through frequent stimulation - particularly if we’ve come to associate it with the pleasure of orgasm - until it sometimes gets to the point where stimulation of that area alone can induce a climax.
The nipples are full of nerve endings, so for a lot of women (and some men) they’re a rich source of sexual stimulation, and I think perhaps the secret is that you were allowing yourselves the luxury of time.
The practical details of how hard to stimulate them, and whether by hand, orally or using toys, is a matter of individual preference. It’s unlikely you will do the nipples any harm by having them sucked or pulled on quite hard.
As you know from having children, they can handle quite a good workout! But as always, be guided by your own body - and common sense. Some people like to take things a stage further by incorporating nipple clamps into their play.
If you think these might appeal, there are plenty on this site, but clothes pegs are a good starter - you can experiment with different strength pegs. Proceed with caution, trying them for just a minute or two to begin with, and never keep them on for longer than 20 minutes.
Remember you will usually experience more pain at the moment they’re removed than when they are on. I congratulate you on your ability to open up and experiment - and for being brave enough to write in. As you’ve proven, you’ve got tricks up your sleeve that a lot of people half your age would envy!
Refreshingly frank and funny, actress and presenter Julie Peasgood delivers practical information to transform your sex life. The Greatest Sex Tips in the World explores the world of eroticism, revealing secrets and techniques that will energise and enhance your enjoyment.