• How to Introduce Kink to Your Relationship

    Coming out as kinky is a difficult process, especially if you’ve only just realised it yourself.

    Whether you’re in an already established couple or you’ve just got together, being honest about your sexual needs and desires is incredibly important if you’re to have the sex life you really want.

    There are several sure-fire ways to approach the subject of kink with a partner without making them want to run away in horror, so listen up!


    I like your underwear, mind if I wear it?

    Fetish Fantasy Stainless Steel Wartenberg Pinwheel When discussing a fetish or kink with a partner, you may want to think about the approach you take with it. Suddenly announcing that you are into dressing up as a clown and indulging in tribadism with ‘little people’ will come as quite a shock if the previous conversation to this was about what colour the new carpet should be.

    Guide the chat towards sex if you can and your partner will probably guess that a frank and frisky discussion is coming up. Many people like to talk about themselves so ask them if there’s anything they’d like to try or if they have a fetish first. This will then pave the way for you to briefly and lightly mention anything you enjoy, skipping over the details until you’ve gauged their reaction.

    Another point to bear in mind is that these kinds of conversations shouldn’t take place just before you’re about to have sex – it will put you both in a very difficult position (and we don’t mean ‘the wheelbarrow’).

    When discussing fetishes and kinks, we recommend doing it in a private environment, with your clothes on but some sort of intimacy going on, such as when you’re cuddled up on the sofa. This relaxing situation and the physical reassurance of having someone touching you will make it easier to open up but also easy to ‘read’ their reactions too.

    Too shy? Don’t cry!

    Monogamy: A Hot AffairIf you’re too shy to take the direct approach, as mentioned above, you might like the help of a sex game or a set of sex vouchers to help you open up.

    Monogamy is a fantastic game that has been created with this kind of situation in mind! If you want to spice things up in the bedroom, if you want to try something new or you have a kinky interest that you really want to explore, Monogamy gives you the opportunity to do exactly that in a safe and fun environment.

    Working your way around the board, you each take it in turns to pick a card and perform or act out whatever is written on it. The cards start sweet and cute, turn into raunchy and romantic before becoming downright dirty, so there really is something for everyone!

    You’ll find that any sex game will be a lot of fun and will encourage you to try new things, as well as making communication about sex a lot easier.

    If you’re still too shy for a sex game, then sex vouchers are the next best thing! The discreet little booklet will contain lots of naughty ‘vouchers’ that allow you or your partner to redeem them whenever you like.

    Try placing one of the Sex Cheques in your partner’s lunch box before they head off to work or leaving one under a magnet on the fridge - they’ll soon get the hint!

    What to do in the event of an emergency

    Bondage Boutique Leather Collar with 1 inch StudsIf you’ve approached the subject of kink with your partner and they’ve reacted badly or not seemed keen, don’t panic. It often seems like the end of the world when someone rejects you and your sexual preferences but this truly isn’t the case.

    Give your partner some time to cool down after the conversation. This could be a few hours or maybe a few days, but often people are frightened and threatened by what they’ve heard when their partner has spoken up about their sexual preferences so need time to get their head straight.

    Reassure your partner that you love them and that you find great joy and pleasure in your sex life currently but also explain why you mentioned your particular kink, making sure to emphasise that this is something you want to share with them and, in turn, give you both a greater connection, in and out of the bedroom.

    If your partner is still struggling to come to terms with your fetish, don’t push it. Putting pressure on your lover to explore your particular kink can lead to you both feeling uncomfortable and a very bad atmosphere too. If they’re not into it and not willing to take the conversation further, there isn’t a lot else you can do except respect their wishes.

    Runway clear for takeoff

    Sportsheets Door Jam CuffsIf your partner is happy to explore your fetish or kink then congratulations is in order! Having someone in your life that is so open-minded and caring will make things a lot easier if you choose to explore your sexuality further.

    But first things first - even though your partner has agreed to whatever naughty activity you have in mind, you will still need to take great consideration into what you’re about to do.

    With anything fetish based, make sure that you are both safe and that what you get up to doesn’t cross any previously discussed boundaries. Set out rules and limitations before getting kinky and always stop when told to. Make sure you decide on a safe word too!

    Bondage Boutique Wrapped Rattan CaneAlways remember to go slowly and build up over time, as well. Jumping straight in with a few hard unexpected hits of your Bondage Boutique Wrapped Rattan Cane on their bottom, will soon make your partner regret putting so much trust in you and make any kinky conversations in future instantly start on a bad note! Start slow and gentle and build up in intensity - that’s the real key to pleasure.

    Talk about your experiences afterwards too. Find out what your partner thought of it and if they’d be interested in doing it again. You can then let them know what you got out of your saucy adventure. Make sure to reassure them and thank them too - they may want you to return the favour one day!

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