• How to Buy a Sex Machine

    If you’ve ever seen a sex machine in action, then I think it’s safe to say that you’ve also had a strong desire to try one out.

    Whereas the idea of a ‘mechanical sex simulator’ doesn’t sound very sexy, the reality is so sexy that you may just need a lie down after reading this guide!

    From the budget to the luxury, Lovehoney has a sex machine to suit you...



    Move over Sybian, there’s new toys in town...

    If you’ve ever watched porn with a sex machine in, more than likely it’s been a Sybian. These super powerful machines are so expensive to ship to the UK that it’s impossible for retailers to make any kind of profit on them. This, coupled with the enormous price tag to the customer, has instantly led the Sybian to become a porn fantasy rather than a bedroom actuality.

    But don’t worry! If you love the idea of a sex machine but don’t want to have to re-mortgage your house to afford one, we have the perfect solution...

    Serious Sex Machines:

    1. 1. Louisiana Lounger Sex Toy Machine (£139.99)

      Louisiana Lounger Sex Toy Machine

      One of our most popular sex machines, this inflatable bed and a series of three thrusting, pumping, vibrating sex toys to attach to it.

    2. 2. Robo Fuk Unisex Adjustable Sex Machine (£319.99)

      Robo Fuk Unisex Adjustable Sex Machine

      Mains powered sex machine with 2 attachments for unisex hands-free pleasure.

    3. 3. Love Sex Machine with 6 Sex Toy Attachments (£299.99)

      Love Sex Machine with 6 Sex Toy Attachments

      With 6 attachments and 5 functions, this sex machine offers a range of play options for men and women.


    Portable Sex Machines:

    1. 1. Inflatable Vibrating Dildo Chair (£24.99)

      Inflatable Vibrating Dildo Chair

      Remember space hoppers from the 70s? This inflatable sex toy with upright dildo puts the fun back into squats!

    2. 2. Fetish Fantasy Inflatable Hot Seat (£34.99)

      Fetish Fantasy Inflatable Hot Seat

      A budget alternative to mechanic sex machines that offers comfortable pleasure with each thrust.

    3. 3. Pipedream Portable Sex Machine (£299.99)

      Pipedream Portable Sex Machine

      Good things come in small packages! Perfect for pleasure on the go, this machine includes 3 dildos.


    Hints and Tips

    Pipedream Portable Sex Machine- When buying a sex machine, take into account the type of stimulation you prefer. If you like powerful vibrations then go for something like the Fetish Fantasy Inflatable Hot Seat for intense sensations.

    - Sex machines tend to be very loud so be careful if you live with housemates or parents!

    - Always use a lubricant with your sex machine. Unlike a partner, your sex machine doesn’t know when to stop and reapply lube so use your judgement and take breaks.

    - Cleanliness is highly important with your sex machine so make sure you clean all the parts that touch your body thoroughly and all other surfaces at least get wiped down with a damp cloth and a few squirts of Lovehoney Fresh Sex Toy Cleaner.


    Need more help?

    You can Contact Customer Care, who will be able to help you find the perfect sex machine. You can email, telephone or live chat to an experienced advisor 24/7.


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    Comments (2)

    • NSFWTom: January 14, 2010 14:10
      Oh, these look hilarious. I think it'd definitely be interesting to see how they fare, and customer reviews.
      The annoying thing about the Sybian is that due to the price, there is less amateur adult footage of it in use. It's nice to be able to differentiate between fantasy and real screaming and enjoyment. It seems some actresses ticket to go the whole Harry met Sally hog. Definite license involved.
      But money no option, hell yes, it'd be interesting to try out. Now THAT is a LoveHoney competition prize!!!!!!!!! Winner agrees to give a thorough review eteracetera...
      Might be nice to get some better angled photos of the Louisiana Lounger Sex Toy Machine etc. (e.g. there's a position where the lady might be able to take anal from the device, and vaginal from her man sitting underneather her. Prices for most bar the Sybian seem way ripoff. (e.g. Due to the less number buying, the price range on different sites is huge (the old, this is the RRP, but we'll knock some off routine) (e.g. RRP£200 knocked down to £130? vs LH £90 odd).
    • LoveHoney - Carly: January 15, 2010 09:17
      Hi NSFWTom,

      We actually got LoveHoney's own Bonny Hall to give the Louisiana Lounger a go! You can see the results in our video here: www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=11759#videos

      Prices vary wildly on sex machines and the majority that we sell are way below RRP. We know good sex comes at a price but we might as well make that price as low as possible!
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