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I can't orgasm during sex, although I can solo but only if my legs are straight. What should I do?

Tracey Cox
by Tracey Cox on November 27, 2009 08:37 3 comments  |  Add a comment
I can't orgasm during sex, although I can solo but only if my legs are straight. What should I do? You've trained your brain and body to only recognize one specific route to orgasm – and it's not couple friendly!

QuestionQuestion:

I have never ever had an orgasm during sex. And I have never had one by myself unless my legs are poker straight.

Even if they are a little bent, nothing! I started masturbating when I was younger and got into the habit of having my legs straight, and ever since then find it difficult to find a sexual position where this works. What should I do?

 

AnswerTracey Says:

You’ve trained your brain and your body to only recognize one specific route to orgasm – and it’s not a terribly couple friendly one! The good news is, this is relatively easy to fix by simply retraining your body to orgasm through a different style.

This is easiest to do through solo sex. I’m not sure if you used your fingers or a vibrator when masturbating before but if you haven’t got a vibe, invest in one. The reason why is using a vibrator offers the quickest, easiest and most effective way for you to climax. Hold it against the clitoral area and see how it feels. Have an orgasm with the vibe with your legs straight. Then each time after that, start bending your legs just a little.

Vibrator orgasms are pretty much guaranteed, so it shouldn’t take long to move from completely straight legs to legs that are bent at the knee. Once you’ve broken the psychological fixation, it’s then a matter of ditching the vibe (yes you must!) and going through the same process using your fingers.

Then you need to teach your partner how to replicate what you do to orgasm, so he can do the same during sex with you. It sounds like it’s going to take forever, but if you masturbated every single day and didn’t cheat, I’d expect you to be ‘cured’ in between two weeks to a month.

Having said all this, remember that penetration alone is unlikely to result in an orgasm, straight legs or not. The best way to guarantee this to happen is for him (or you) to use fingers or hold a vibe on the clitoris during intercourse.


Tracey Cox Kama SutraThe world's best sex expert meets the world's greatest sex guide! Tracey's take on the Kama Sutra debonks the myths, shows what works, what doesn't and what's ohmigod-great. Tracey Cox Kama Sutra is for adventurous couples and anyone who loves sex!.

 

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Comments (3)

  • nic: November 27, 2009 20:43

    oh my god i have exactly the same problem. Didn't realise it was so common thanks for the great advice update you if it works! ;)

  • d gavin: December 29, 2009 01:59

    i have suffered from premature ejaculation most of my life i have tryed sprays, pills' delay condoms ect sometime they work sometime my penis goes to sleep (soft) is there anything i can do/take to help this problem thanks

  • LoveHoney - Carly: December 29, 2009 08:43

    Hi d gavin,

    Have you tried talking to your GP? It can be an embarrassing situation but it's worth remembering that your doctor hears these things every day and they should be able to help you confidentially.

    Many people often recommend the Stamina Training Unit Fleshlights (http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=13190) for premature ejaculation as they train the body to respond in a special way to stimulation. It even comes with a downloadable e-book to help you learn how best to use it too!

    Hope this information helps!

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