• I've started swinging aged 62 but can't keep an erection when I use a condom. What can I do?

    I've started swinging aged 62 but can't keep an erection when I use a condom. What can I do?

    Sometimes our bodies are a very good guide to what our minds are trying to tell us subconsciously - and I believe that could be what’s happening here.


    Question for JulieQuestion:

    I'm 62 years-old and have just started swinging. Having not used condoms for 40 years, as soon as I put one on I lose my erection. To help I take Viagra - this helps, but only a little and sometimes not at all.

    If I go bareback with the one lady who only has sex with me I have no problems. What do I do to get over this problem?

    Julie Answers...Julie Says:

    Sometimes our bodies are a very good guide to what our minds are trying to tell us subconsciously - and I believe that could be what’s happening here.

    You’ve just started swinging at 62. And yes, condoms are essential - as you obviously realise. But you say that this is after 40 years of not needing them; you also mention the one lady whose only partner is you, so I’m guessing she's your regular partner, but is not joining in your swinging activities?

    Maybe she doesn’t want to, or maybe you’re not telling her about it - you don’t specify - but either way, something doesn’t sound quite right. I think you probably know this yourself, deep down, but you’re pushing on regardless, trying to prove something, and your body is raising its objections - by not raising anything else.

    I suggest you give yourself a bit of space to take stock of your situation. Your body performs quite naturally when you’re with your lady, which seems to indicate that it’s with her that you’re happy and at ease. A good relationship with someone who still turns you on after some time is a valuable thing - cherish it.

    The Greatest Sex Tips in the WorldRefreshingly frank and funny, actress and presenter Julie Peasgood delivers practical information to transform your sex life. The Greatest Sex Tips in the World explores the world of eroticism, revealing secrets and techniques that will energise and enhance your enjoyment.

    Comments (1)

    • becks: November 17, 2009 14:08
      If you both do swinging (i hope so) then try only having penetrative sex with your partner and just play with other gals ... most good swinging clubs offer a no pressure policy and 'playing' but not 'sex' with others is accepted especially if spoken of upfront.

      Some swinging clubs still ask for condoms use even if you do only stick it in and oral etc with your partner to minimise the mess (come can stick to furniture like a bugger) .

      If you aren't doing swinging with your partner then you are missing out on the best part of the experience ...

      bx

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