• When I orally want to satisfy my boyfriend, he doesn't climax. He's in his late 40s - is this why?

    When I orally want to satisfy my boyfriend, he doesn't climax. He's in his late 40s - is this why?

    Most men love being given oral sex, and I certainly don’t think that being in his 40s is any bar to that!


    Question for JulieQuestion:

    My boyfriend is very affectionate - he always makes sure that I have an orgasm. When I orally want to satisfy him, he doesn't seem to reach a climax. I don't know if I am doing something wrong and really want to know what I must do to please him. He is in his late 40s - is that the reason?

    Julie Answers...Julie Says:

    Most men love being given oral sex, and I certainly don’t think that being in his 40s is any bar to that! But remember it doesn’t have to be performed through to completion every time - it can be fun to give some oral sex as part of foreplay, and then move on to something else. Or to interrupt penetration with a little bit of oral, or to alternate oral with using your hands - there are no rules! A good quality flavoured lube can really help; water-based, so it combines with your own saliva to keep things slippery.

    He may feel inhibited about ejaculating in your mouth because of an idea that it’s dirty or unacceptable in some way - or maybe he’s had an offputting experience in the past. It’s so easy for us to lose confidence sexually; just one misjudged comment at a sensitive moment can put us off our stride and hold us back in the future.

    So go gently. Get feedback from him as you go, asking him if this or that feels good. Unless you do this, you won’t know what he likes and what he doesn’t. It’s possible that something you’re doing might not be working for him - some people like it fast, some slow - some might like you to use your hand at the same time, and so on. Everyone’s different, so we need to adjust our technique accordingly.

    A good ‘cheat’ is to start stimulating him orally, and then bring him to orgasm with your hand. Once you’ve got this to work, you could try it the other way round, only using your mouth at the very last minute, if you think he can cope with it. So get talking - keeping things relaxed and pressure-free. And don’t forget to tell him how how it’s turning you on. I’m pretty sure you’ll soon be going with the flow…

    The Greatest Sex Tips in the WorldRefreshingly frank and funny, actress and presenter Julie Peasgood delivers practical information to transform your sex life. The Greatest Sex Tips in the World explores the world of eroticism, revealing secrets and techniques that will energise and enhance your enjoyment.

    Comments (1)

    • Sam: November 17, 2009 09:55
      I'm in my mid 40's and like most men LOVE a bit of oral, but I rarely orgasm either from oral sex. My wife's technique is mind-blowing and is one of the best feelings in the world!! But to come to orgasm I need to push so we use oral (for both of us) as foreplay - that doesn't mean it's not wonderful though.

      On the occasions I do orgasm through oral sex, it's almost always if I've been away on business and feeling very ... desperate!

      She loves it when she does bring me to orgasm through oral (she says it makes her feel very sexy and that I really want her) so I would like to be able to far more often.

    Add a comment
    1. Yes, please! Email me when there are more comments after mine
    2. We need to ask you a question to prove you're a human because evil spam computers keep abusing our form!