Although I've tried lots of remedies I can't keep an erection. What can I do about this?

When it becomes so difficult to hold an erection that it stops you having sex altogether, you may have what’s termed ‘erectile dysfunction’.

Question:

I have tried many remedies, but, although I can get an erection, it's not hard and I can't hold it, it flops. I love sex and have had 4 children, all grown up now.

I have to be honest and tell you I've had a heart bypass some time ago and am on two blood pressure tabs, and have had two hernia operations. Am I a lost cause, do you think?

Julie Says:

Of course you’re not a lost cause! However, as this is essentially a medical question - and I’m not a doctor - I can only offer you an answer in general terms. Most men, at some time in their lives and for whatever reasons, will have a short lived problem getting or maintaining an erection. But when it becomes so difficult that it stops you having sex altogether, you may have what’s termed ‘erectile dysfunction’.

This can be caused by psychological factors such as stress and anxiety, or it can be for physiological reasons, such as a period of illness. Given your heart surgery, hernia operations and blood pressure problems, I would guess it’s the latter condition in your case.

I sense from your letter Bill, that you’re a fairly up-beat kind of guy. You’ve been through a lot and survived a lot. You have four grown up children, you still love sex - and you’re looking for a way to start enjoying it again. Well done - don’t give up! Make a specific appointment with your doctor to sit down and talk about this.

There are many options on the market for you and your GP to discuss, from prescription tablets (which will take into account any medication you're already on) through to herbal treatments, vacuum pumps and the rest. GP's talk about these sort of problems all the time, so don't feel embarrassed; this is everyday stuff for them.

You could also try the Tantric technique of ‘soft penetration’, which is great for any men with erectile problems. Partners lie on their sides, facing each other and maintaining continuous eye contact, with their legs at right angles and overlapping. The flaccid penis is then introduced into the vagina, and the woman proceeds to ‘milk’ the man using her PC muscles. Very little movement is required, also making it good for anyone with limited mobility and, strange as it sounds, it’s surprisingly effective!

Refreshingly frank and funny, actress and presenter Julie Peasgood delivers practical information to transform your sex life. The Greatest Sex Tips in the World explores the world of eroticism, revealing secrets and techniques that will energise and enhance your enjoyment.

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