• My husband of 14 years has put on weight and I don't fancy him any more. What can I do?

    My husband of 14 years has put on weight and I don't fancy him any more. What can I do?

    Let's look at the positives - you love your husband, you've enjoyed 14 years together and you want to spend the rest of your life with him.


    Question for JulieQuestion:

    My husband and I have been together for 14 years. I really don't find him attractive any more as he has put a lot of weight on over the years, I do love him and want to spend the rest of our lives together but I just can't bring myself to have sex with him.

    I have told him to lose weight but he finds it difficult even though he knows I don't fancy him any more. What can I do?

    Julie Answers...Julie Says:

    Let's look at the positives - you love your husband, you've enjoyed 14 years together and you want to spend the rest of your life with him. Sounds great until we get to the bit about the poor guy piling on the pounds which turns you right off him.

    Understandable - yes. A sexual deal-breaker? - hopefully no. You've invested a lot of time in this relationship and I feel that for the sake of your marriage it's worth investing more.

    You say you have 'told' him to lose weight - I bet he found that really encouraging! Come on now, let's be honest - if someone ordered you to lose weight it would probably have you reaching for the biscuit tin in two seconds flat... then the ice-cream tub and then that Curly Wurly hidden at the back of the fridge.

    You'd find it disheartening, depressing and the road to Slimdom would appear very long indeed. Losing weight effectively is tough and he needs your support... so how about exercising together? Why don't the two of you have a think and work out your own eating and fitness plan?

    OK, you may not need to shift the weight, but you may want to tone up a little or live a healthier lifestyle. Do it as a team, set achievable targets, and motivate each other along the way. That way it becomes a shared interest or project that will bring you closer in itself - in addition to the results you're working for.

    Don't pressure him, but do keep up the encouragement - and make sure you show your admiration for his efforts with some sexy rewards. Soon he'll be feeling inspired and more positive about his self-image - and you'll be falling back into lust with the body you've been missing.

    The Greatest Sex Tips in the WorldRefreshingly frank and funny, actress and presenter Julie Peasgood delivers practical information to transform your sex life. The Greatest Sex Tips in the World explores the world of eroticism, revealing secrets and techniques that will energise and enhance your enjoyment.

    Comments (2)

    • Tom: July 21, 2009 18:15
      I'd recommend joining him with getting your diets sorted, making decent 400 odd calorie meals 4 times a day, and some decent 100 calorie yoghurts for desserts anytime. Exercise can help (and helps with feeling better, which is a big deal if you're currently overweight, and need to keep losing a few hundred calories a day, rather than adding many more hundreds in one binge session).
      Regular realistic goals, aims for each month, and some sport he'll enjoy doing can help (e.g. running, jogging, or just walking). Don't make him feel down for being fat, help him feel better on the wobbly road of getting back body confidence and shape.
    • Hubby: August 02, 2009 19:38
      Give him lots of exercise in the bedroom, and lean food in the kitchen.

      Lots of walks and cutting all those snacks.

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