• My partner doesn't enjoy foreplay - she won't do anything to please me. Help!

    My partner doesn't enjoy foreplay - she won't do anything to please me. Help!

    Assuming you're paying suitable attention to your own personal hygiene, it sounds as though your girlfriend may be suffering from a lack of confidence in the bedroom.


    Question for JulieQuestion:

    My partner finds doesn't enjoy foreplay. She's fine with me doing things to her, but not the other way round - she just freaks out.

    Any tips on how to get her over this?

    Julie Answers...Julie Says:

    Assuming you're paying suitable attention to your own personal hygiene, it sounds as though your girlfriend may be suffering from a lack of confidence in the bedroom. She may not be sure how to satisfy you sexually, so she ends up projecting a nervous attitude towards pleasuring you.

    When you're both alone and unlikely to be interrupted, try asking her what she thinks is the way forward. It might be that what you do to her isn't actually floating her boat - but she's unsure how to tell you. I suggest you treat this as an opportunity for you both to enhance your lovemaking skills.

    There are two books on foreplay I can highly recommend: Tickle Her Fancy and Tickle his Pickle by Sadie Allison. They are small, practical 'how-to' guides with quirky but sexy cartoon illustrations, and they're packed with tips.

    Only do this if you're going to buy both titles though, and take it in turns to try the techniques on each other. It has to be two-way traffic, so there's something in it for both of you - and she doesn't feel intimidated.

    You could also try reading erotic stories or watching porn together and acting out some of the ideas - or indulge in a lazy shared bath. Sometimes just washing each other, or shampooing each other's hair, can be a surprisingly sensual and intimate experience.

    Giving each other a relaxing massage with aromatic oil can give an insight into what each of you finds pleasurable - and make sure you give each other feedback as you go. Adult board games also offer plenty of fun and fresh ideas, and can open up new channels of communication. Take a look at Monogamy - described as 'A Hot Affair... With Your Partner!'

    Ultimately it's communication that's vital here. If you're able to be open and encouraging with each other, I'm sure this can be the beginning of a rich and fulfilling sex life for you both.

    The Greatest Sex Tips in the WorldRefreshingly frank and funny, actress and presenter Julie Peasgood delivers practical information to transform your sex life. The Greatest Sex Tips in the World explores the world of eroticism, revealing secrets and techniques that will energise and enhance your enjoyment.

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