• Since having my children I've gone right off sex. How can I go back to wanting and enjoying sex?

    Since having my children I've gone right off sex. How can I go back to wanting and enjoying sex?

    Loss of libido after childbirth is incredibly common - it's nature's way of making sure we pace ourselves between children!


    Question for JulieQuestion:

    Since having my children I've gone right off sex. I can go months without it worrying me, also when I was pregnant with my last child I had pelvic disfunction which hurt when I had intercourse.

    It does still hurt sometimes now, and so I tense up. How can I go back to wanting and enjoying sex? Please help.

    Julie Answers...Julie Says:

    Loss of libido after childbirth is incredibly common - it's nature's way of making sure we pace ourselves between children! Invest in a babysitter for the night and have some proper time with your partner, away from the demands of your kids.

    An intimate night out together - especially a night away - can do wonders for restoring a flagging sex drive. Or ask your partner/family/friends to help out so you can set aside some 'me time'.

    Instead of dashing in and out of the shower, enjoy a long luxurious bath, light some candles and put in some serious pampering. Some sexy new underwear and a big catch up on sleep will instantly make you feel more inclined, too.

    After having a baby, it's all too easy to see yourself first and foremost as a mother rather than a woman, and it's important to rediscover your sexuality and femininity. You will start to feel sexy again; you just need to give yourself some time and space to find out what turns you on now.

    Talk to your GP about exercises that you can do to ease the pain caused by pelvic dysfunction - swimming is meant to assist in the recovery. Have a hot sauna afterwards if you can, and let your body totally relax.

    You may want to consider seeing a physiotherapist who deals specifically with chronic pelvic pain, or visit www.pelvicpartnership.org.uk - a registered charity set up by people who have experienced pelvic dysfunction personally.

    You could also experiment with Durex Play O - a feminine arousal gel specially formulated to increase female libido, and to enable more powerful, intense orgasms.

    They also have a silky smooth gel, Durex Play 2 in 1 Massage, that doubles as a lube. Ask your partner to give you a soothing massage to help get you in the mood, and to loosen any tight muscles and ease tension.

    Having said all this, try not to not to worry too much about it - stress is one of the biggest desire dampeners, and I'm convinced with some patience and pampering your ardour will soon return.


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