Sex in a Car - How To Do It In Style (And Not Get Caught)
Cars and sex go together like strawberries and cream, but sex in cars? That's trickier, mainly because the sexier the car, the less sex it allows inside.
We asked top car journalist Nick Gibb for his choice of 10 cars that go out of their way to make impromptu sex easier, kinkier or more private (and we're assuming here you're after privacy), so before you go out and buy a new motor, read this list...
Car: Ferrari 575M Superamerica
Nick says: Ferraris are more about getting you laid outside the car rather than in, but no car-sex list would be complete without one and that's where the 575M Superamerica comes in.
It's the first and pretty much only car to come with every auto-eroticist's dream feature: Electrochromatic glass. Press a button and the sunroof glass goes opaque, cutting out one line of view for those hoping for a cheeky glimpse.
Key sex-worthy feature: Opaque glass on command
Car: Chrysler Voyager
Nick says: Looks like an ardor killer from the outside, but this boy-band vehicle of choice is perhaps the best automotive sex enabler of them all thanks to a key feature: Disappearing seats.
All five rear chairs magic away into the floor to give you a vast passion playroom. So remember, if the Voyager's rockin' don't come a' knocking.
Key sex-worthy feature: Disappearing seats
Car: Lexus LS600h
Nick says: If the idea of the car itself joining in with the foreplay doesn't douse the sexual fervour, then lie back and let the seats in the lounge-sized Lexus massage you before, during and after the act itself.
The reclining, motorised backrests offer Shiatsu, acupressure and massaging vibration, which helps to heighten the pleasure and reverse the argument about who goes on top.
Key sex-worthy feature: Massaging seats
Car: Ford Capri
Nick says: Proof that sports cars can facilitate the sex they suggest. Don't laugh now, but the Capri was a supremely sexy car in its time with that long bonnet and those glowering headlights.
But the Ford could also talk the talk as well: Drop the seats in the rear and the perfectly flat space under the hatchback is the perfect make-out zone. A generation of smooth-talking Essex boys will testify to that fact.
Key sex-worthy feature: Flat floor for flirting and more
Car: Mitsubishi Delica
Nick says: Many a Cornish surfer boy has demonstrated the seduction qualities of this strange machine, aka the Karma Sutra of cars.
A peculiar hybrid of a 4x4 and people carrier, the Delica overcomes those drawbacks to in-car passion with seats that twist, swivel and drop into any position, including a vast double bed.
Key sex-worthy feature: Seats that twist into a double bed
Car: Mercedes 600
Nick says: Seventies dictators the world over used the rear curtains offered within the imperious Mercedes limo to prevent the hoi polloi from gawping.
You'll do the same, except with its electric reclining seats and twin tables with holder for a champagne glass; you'd really give them something to gawp at.
Find a discreet driver & the smooth suspension won't disrupt the rhythm either.
Key sex-worthy feature: Rear curtains
Car: Honda Jazz
Nick says: Any car can be great for sex if it's designed right, even super-minis like the otherwise dowdy Honda Jazz.
So other than it's slightly top-shelf name, what can it do for your love life? It offers flat-out, multi-position sex thanks to its 'magic seats', that's what. The rears go flat and then the passenger seat folds down to allow athletic sex in an otherwise terribly sensible car.
Key sex-worthy feature: Magic seats
Car: BMW 335i Convertible
Nick says: A celebrity sex endorsement from none other than Hugh Grant himself brings the BMW 3-series cabriolet onto the list, but it has another trick too.
If you find that al fresco peck on the lips gets too hot too quick, even if, like Hugh, you're having to pay for it, then simply press the button on the ignition key and in 22 seconds the roof is closed and you're free to frolic under the hard-top.
Key sex-worthy feature: Quick-closing roof
Car: Range Rover
Nick says: Now this gets a little kinky, even for Lovehoney! Thanks to a nifty optional feature in the latest Range Rover you can create, star in and screen your own porn film in the car itself.
The detachable wireless 'VentureCam' was probably meant for watching the horses in the box behind, but with some careful positioning your countryside alliances can be relayed via the camera to the in-dash TV screen.
Key sex-worthy feature: Detachable camera
Car: Gibbs Aquada
Nick says: If it's privacy you're after, then this car has a far cleverer trick than curtains. The Aquada turns into a speedboat, opening up a whole new horizon for your sexual adventures.
Once out at sea or behind that island, kill the engine, stretch out on the flat rear deck and wave goodbye to intrusion, if you follow my drift.
Key sex-worthy feature: Turns into a boat!