• My wife and I enjoy strap-on sex but I worry about the size of the toys she's buying.

    My wife and I enjoy strap-on sex but I worry about the size of the toys she's buying.

    You are part of an increasing number of couples discovering the excitement and satisfaction for both partners that female-male penetration can offer.


    Question for JulieQuestion:

    My wife and I have recently enjoyed experimenting with strap-on sex (female to male). What started as an occasional finger prostate-massage during sex progressed to a small butt plug, then a Feeldoe, and currently a Tantus dildo with harness.

    However, she has now ordered something much bigger (8.5 x 2 inches!). It looks awesome but I'm a bit worried if it's safe to use in this way?

    Julie Answers...Julie Says:

    You are part of an increasing number of couples discovering the excitement and satisfaction for both partners that female-male penetration can offer.

    I predicted a while back that 'pegging', as it's sometimes called, would be the 'next big thing' - and it sounds as though big things are what we're talking about here!

    The golden rule, as with all anal play, is lubrication - and masses of it. Have plenty of foreplay too - using a finger to relax the area - before inserting anything bigger. The anal canal, unlike the vagina, is not self-lubricating, so apply and re-apply lube during play, and give your wife plenty of feedback on the pace and depth of her thrusting, to avoid damage.

    You've taken the sensible route of getting used to something smaller before increasing the size of the toys you use, but be guided by common sense, and if this 'new arrival' is intimidating or painful, then don't go any further. And remember to clean toys thoroughly, especially anal, before and after use.

    An important consideration when using large toys anally, is to balance them with regular PC exercises, or the use of a stimulator like the Aneros, to keep the sphincter muscles toned. Also, as women are often reassuring their men, size isn't everything!

    Some of the most exciting prostate sensations reported are from the tiny Aneros Peridise - users progress through the slim beginners' models to the advanced, which are even smaller, yet provide the most intense sensations.

    I can't give you a rule of thumb for toy size, as what may be manageable for one person could be inconceivable for another, but it sounds as though you may have reached your upper limit. Carry on having fun, but with care and common sense.

    Comments (1)

    • mike lowery: May 14, 2009 21:00
      is your name....frank gallager....puts me in mind of the episode when shela pulled the big black one out her box of toys.... an and did frank with it...lol ouch..
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