• Top Ten Porn Books That You Won't Find At Lovehoney

    Top Ten Porn Books That You Won't Find At Lovehoney

    Every week, we here at Lovehoney get a deluge of sample products that leave a lot to be desired.

    Occasionally we get an erotic book sample that is so astoundingly strange that we don't even want to give it away in our free sex toys giveaways!

    Here are the top ten porn books that we don't stock but definitely made us look twice.


    Natural Harvest - A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes


    Natural Harvest - A Collection of Semen Based Recipes

    No. Just no.


    What's Wrong With My Snake?

    Hilarious book created to warn and educate the public about sexually transmitted diseases? No, just a book about sick snakes. Not even a brief mention of the trouser variety.


    pornogamiPornogami - A Guide To The Ancient Art of Paper Folding

    Something has to be seriously lacking in your life for you to feel the need to model sheets of paper into the shape of genitals.


    Furry - The Best Anthropomorphic Fiction Ever!

    For those not in the know, Furries are people who like to wear animal costumes and rub against each other in a sexual way. Generally furries aren't fussy on who they rub against - you can sometimes see dolphins humping tigers.

    That is a sentence I thought I'd never have to type.


    The Big Colouring Book of CocksThe Big Colouring Book of Cocks

    I'm not going to lie; I own both crayons and felt tips that are just begging to be used on a book like this!

    But seriously, once you've coloured in one cock, you've coloured in them all.


    Finding God Through Sex

    Seriously, most guys would be lucky to find the G-spot during sexy fun time, don't be distracting them with a voyage to find God as well!


    My Deep Dark Pain Is LoveMy Deep Dark Pain Is Love

    "A collection of Latin American gay fiction" - that's quite a specific audience you are appealing to there and unfortunately, I don't think Lovehoney reaches quite that far yet.

    What a lovely discreet cover too!


    The Mystery Method - The Foolproof Way To Get Any Woman You Want Into Bed

    If you buy this book and attempt to use any of the techniques in it, I can guarantee you won't get any woman in bed. I may write a follow up book called "The Go Away Method - We've Heard It All Before And My Panties Are Firmly Staying On".


    Cock And Ball TortureCock and Ball Torture In A Nutshell

    Oh... OH! See what they did there?! With the name? That's clever that is...

    The cover is full of win too, especially as the free DVD has been carefully positioned to hide any trussed up testicles.


    Getting Your Wife or Girlfriend To Have A Threesome

    There are literally hundreds of books about threesomes but most of them deal with the female-male-female threesome. I have yet to come across one called "convincing your boyfriend that being in the same room as another man's naked penis isn't gay".

    Comments (2)

    • JayGee: April 21, 2009 20:18
      LOL! I think you should share the love Carly and pass the really "out there" ones on. I have a strange fascination with Furries (having been startled by a Smurf once in John Menzies many moons ago) so that book would have been interesting!
    • Bethania: April 22, 2009 21:35
      This is hilarious... I had a good old giggle! I'd love to come across some of these books in a book shop! Don't know if I'd waste money on them though... but nice bloggage!
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