• How to Choose a Strap-On Harness

    Strap ons are a great sex toy for couples. They allow you to penetrate your partner, while keeping your hands free for other fun... We've come a long way since dildos on a piece of elastic, so now when people speak about a strap-on, they usually mean a strap-on harness.

    A strap-on harness lets the wearer have more comfort and control, ensuring they can give the most pleasure to their partner. Most of the time, you can also switch dildos in and out of a harness so you can experiment with a whole range of toys.


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    Product featured: Sportsheets Newcomers Strap-On Starter Kit

    How to Choose a Strap-On Harness

    To help you choose the best strap-on, it's important to understand how a harness is put together.

    1. A strap-on harness is made up of three main parts:

      1. Harness

      The strap-on harness itself, which usually has a padded front section and a series of adjustable straps that you step into and then adjust at the waist and/or the legs.

      2. O-ring

      Either a fixed hole to put dildos through, or an O-ring that attaches to the harness.

      3. Dildo

      A harness dildo that fits the hole or O-ring (a harness usually comes with at least one dildo to get you started).

      If you're new to strap-on sex, we suggest buying a kit from our Dildo Harnesses & Kits section that will give you a harness and a compatible dildo - everything you need to get started!

    2. What is a strap on?

    O-Rings Explained

    You'll probably have an idea of the sort of size dildo you want to use in your harness. The diameter of the hole or O-ring dictates how big or small a dildo your harness will hold.

    The bigger the O-ring, the bigger the dildo it will fit (and vice versa)!

    Lovehoney Beginner's Strap On Harness Kit with 5 Inch Pegging DildoA beginner to 'pegging' (a man being anally penetrated by a woman) might like to start with a very slimline dildo to get used to the sensations. If that's the case, go for a harness with a 1.25 inch O-ring like the Sportsheets Newcomers Strap-On Starter Kit.

    However, if you think you will quickly progress to something bigger, choose one with interchangeable O-rings, like the Lovehoney Beginner's Strap On Harness Kit. This will give you the flexibility to move up in size without having to buy a new harness.

    Someone more experienced at being penetrated, vaginally or anally, might like to go for more of a challenge - so choose a harness with either a 1.5 inch, 1.75 inch or 2.0 inch diameter O-ring.

    Lovehoney Advanced Strap On Harness Kit with 7 Inch G-Spot DildoThe Lovehoney Advanced Strap On Harness Kit is a great choice for the intermediate to experienced player - it comes with a 7 inch G-spot dildo, but the beauty of this harness is that it has an interchangeable O-ring, so you can go as big (or small) as you like.

    If you go for a harness with an interchangeable O-ring, you'll get even more versatility.

    If you choose a harness that doesn't have an interchangeable O-ring you can only use dildos that fit snugly in the ring supplied. If you want to go bigger or smaller you will have to buy a whole new harness rather than just changing the O-ring and the dildo.

    So, if you plan on using lots of different dildos and accessories with your harness, choose one where the O-ring (as well as the dildo) can be changed. Although the up-front cost may be a little more, you're giving yourself a lot more choice.

    If you've already got a harness and want to buy a compatible dildo, check out our Harness Dildos section and give our guide: How to Choose a Dildo to Fit Your Harness.

    Strap-On Harness and O-Ring Size Chart

    Use our handy at-a-glance chart to choose a harness with the right type of O-ring for you.

    Harness O-Ring Diameter Can O-Ring Be Changed? Harness
    1.25 inches Yes Lovehoney Beginner's Strap On Harness Kit
    Yes Lovehoney Advanced Strap On Harness Kit
    Yes Fetish Fantasy Vibrating Strap-On Set
    No Sportsheets Newcomers Strap-On Starter Kit
    Yes Tantus Bend Over Beginner Harness Dildo Kit
    Yes Tantus Bend Over Intermediate Vibrating Dildo and Harness Kit
    1.5 inches Yes Lovehoney Beginner's Strap On Harness Kit
    Yes Lovehoney Advanced Strap On Harness Kit
    No Beginners Strap On Harness Kit
    No Double Tip Strap-On Harness and Two Dildo Kit
    Yes Fetish Fantasy Vibrating Strap-On Set
    No RodeoH Generation Strap On Harness Underpants
    No Strap On Harness with 3 Realistic Dildos
    No Strap On Triple Dildo Kit
    Yes Tantus Bend Over Beginner Harness Dildo Kit
    Yes Tantus Bend Over Intermediate Vibrating Dildo and Harness Kit
    1.75 inches Yes Fetish Fantasy Vibrating Strap-On Set
    Yes Red Rider G-Spot Strap On Kit
    2 inches Yes Lovehoney Beginner's Strap On Harness Kit
    Yes Lovehoney Advanced Strap On Harness Kit
    Yes Universal Lover's Super Strap-on Harness
    Yes Fetish Fantasy Vibrating Strap-On Set
    Yes Sportsheets Sedeux Divine Plus Size Harness

    Strapless Strap Ons?!

    Lovehoney Double Delight Vibrating Double Strap On

    If you’re more experienced, there’s also the strapless strap-on to bear in mind. With one of these, you can get a greater sense of closeness as there are no straps to get in the way.

    The larger bulbous end is worn in the vagina and the longer end is used to penetrate the other partner. A strapless strap on is great for vaginal penetration, or for those experienced in anal play, as they’re often quite large in length and circumference.

    Strapless strap-ons can be found in our Strapless Strap Ons section.

    Need more help?

    You can Contact Customer Care, who will be able to help you find the perfect harness. You can email, telephone or live chat to an experienced advisor 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.


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    Comments (27)

    • Iris: September 22, 2009 22:11
      Hi, I (female) am searching for a good strap-on that can be used by my male partner to give me double penetration. Any recommendation?
      Thanks
    • LoveHoney - Carly: September 23, 2009 10:37
      Hi Iris,

      You may like to take a look at the brilliant Sportsheets Double Penetration Harness: www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=8748
      Not only is it designed especially for double penetration, but it is well made and durable too!

      Alternatively, why not take a look at the Manline Tag Team Strap-On Harness set: www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14869
      Developed especially to be worn by a man, it's secure, safe and easy to use!

      If you want something more discreet, then there are some brilliant cock rings which do the same, such as:
      Anal Special Strap-On Cock Ring Dildo - www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=11056

      Porator Cock Ring and Anal Probe - www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=11596

      Hope that helps!

    • mm: October 02, 2009 13:33
      hi im a female and im lookin for a big strap on dildo that can be used for my girlfriend im looking for a big one and thick but i dont know where i can find them.

      this is my first time buyin a strap on dildo ...
      do you have any advice??? i would appreciate it ..

      thanks

    • LoveHoney - Carly: October 05, 2009 08:37
      You've come to the right place - we sell all sorts of strap-on dildos here!

      We have a whole section of harness kits (complete with dildos) - www.lovehoney.co.uk/store.cfm?cat=18

      But we also sell the strap-on dildos separately - www.lovehoney.co.uk/store.cfm?cat=21314

      One of the biggest ones we sell is the Doc Johnson Bam Black Dildo which is a whopping 13.5 inches long with a 8.5 inch circumference - www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=12107

      This will comfortably fit our Huge Leather Strap-On - www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14690

      Hope this helps!

    • bee: October 13, 2009 14:00
      Hi. i am a bisexual female looking for a jock-style harness and a small and not very thick dildo to try with my female partner. It's the first time we are trying it, so i was hoping to find something a bit below the usual mesures. Everything looks too big in size. Thank you for your help.
    • LoveHoney - Carly: October 13, 2009 16:10
      Hi Bee,

      Why not take a look at the gorgeous Sportsheets New Cummers Strap-On Starter Kit - www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=2442

      It has Jock-Strap style straps and comes complete with a small dildo which is just 2.5 inches in circumference and 4.5 inches in length.

      In fact, you can sort the harnesses and dildos within the Dildo Harnesses and Kits section, simply by choosing the length of the dildo you want in the 'Length' drop down at the top. Go here and give it a go: www.lovehoney.co.uk/store.cfm?cat=18

      I think you'll find something you like!

    • nick: October 13, 2009 18:22
      hi,i'm looking for a newcomers strap on which will also give my wife pleasure ?
    • Liza Fishnets: November 23, 2009 14:38
      Hi my name is Liza a bi transvestite, my girlfriend enjoys using a strap-on when i'm made up & dressed in my maids outfit. I enjoy tremendously the feeling of her penetrating me but we would like her 2 get more out of it as the strap-on dildo does not stimulate her very much!
      What do u suggest we have a double ended dildo that we use but my girlfriend prefers being in control are there any doudle ended dildos that do not require a harness but will not slip out of her & that will stimulate her while she penetrates her "french maid"?
      Kisses Liza ur "Maid 2 Order"
      xXx
    • LoveHoney - Carly: November 30, 2009 08:50
      Hi Liza,

      Have you taken a look at the Mantric Sysil - www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=17044

      This nifty bit of kit is truly unique as it's a strapless strap-on with its own special positioning system! So not only do you get extremely pleasurable penetration, but your partner also gets some satisfying stimulation too!

      And it looks great as well!

    • bigben: January 01, 2010 22:43
      can someone please tell me a harness that keeps the dildo firmly upright and in place.i dont care about the price any one that will meet those requirments.i have tried the sportsheets but sadly did nt work out
    • LoveHoney - Carly: January 04, 2010 08:50
      Hi bigben

      If you could tell us which dildo you plan on using with your harness and what your waist/hip measurements are, we should be able to help!

    • Liza Fishnets: January 05, 2010 07:43
      thnx 4 the advice hon we will definately b ordering 1 it looks fantastic & hopefully will give both myself & my gf lots of pleasure when she uses her "maid 2 order" french maid liza!
      kisses
      liza
      xXx
    • Jack: January 09, 2010 05:18
      I sleep with a dildo inside me when my girlfriend is at her house and I wish there was a harness to hoid the Super Victor Giant Dildo inside me. I am a bisexual guy and a harness for men are not really available in this size :-(
    • LoveHoney - Carly: January 11, 2010 11:17
      Hi Jack,

      Sadly the Super Victor Giant Dildo isn't harness compatible but you might find that wearing tight latex or PVC underwear whilst using a butt plug or dildo will hold it in place securely. It's worth remembering that you should only insert things anally that have a flared base or a way to pull it out safely though.

      Hope this information helps!
    • Robert: January 12, 2010 12:56
      hi there.
      i am a male looking for a stra-on my girlfriend can use on me. i like it rather big. the best would be if there was a strap-on to penetrate and give pleasure to both at the same time!
    • LoveHoney - Carly: January 12, 2010 16:38
      Hi Robert,

      How about a strapless strap-on such as the Feeldoe (www.lovehoney.co.uk/s.cfm?term=feeldoe&x=0&y=0)? These come in a range of sizes and allow you to both enjoy some fantastic sensations!

      Alternatively, how about the Mantric Sysil - it's a LoveHoney favourite! www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=17044

    • bigben: January 15, 2010 13:52
      sorry carly for taken this long to reply,but the dildo we plan using is the tantus p spot silicone anal dildo and perhaps something bigger in the future.waist measurments are 24 and hips are 35.hopefully them measurments stay that way
    • LoveHoney - Carly: January 18, 2010 09:02
      Hi bigben,

      Hmmm, sounds like it may be a combination of the material of the harness and the O-ring size that are giving you problems. As the Tantus P-Spot Silicone Dildo has an unusal O-ring diameter, getting it to sit comfortably and ridigly in a harness can be difficult.

      You might like to try a leather harness as these provide a much firmer grip on the dildo. My recommendation would be for the Spartacus Leather Ulti-Mate Dildo Harness - www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=8074

      Not only is it adjustable for a perfect fit but you can change the O-ring to fit any size of dildo! We recommend using a stretchy cock ring as an O-ring as these are much more adjustable - www.lovehoney.co.uk/store.cfm?cat=43

      Hope this information helps!

    • bigben: January 19, 2010 13:24
      thanks,that spartacus looks the part we will just have to put it to the test now.you could be right about the p-spot dildo as it is akward but hopefully that will be in the past and thanks again for your time
    • LoveHoney - Carly: January 19, 2010 15:26
      You're welcome, bigben. :)

      Don't forget, we have a 365 day return policy so if you try something but it doesn't fit the bill, we are more than happy to refund, exchange or replace!

      www.lovehoney.co.uk/help/returns-policy/

      Have fun!

    • sissycowgirl: March 09, 2010 23:56
      Hi, I'm looking for a strap-on which can fit over a chastity device, so I can still pleasure my girlfriend even though I am caged, do you have any suggestions?

      Thanks in advance. :-)

    • LoveHoney - Carly: March 10, 2010 09:14
      Hi sissycowgirl,

      It all depends which chastity device you're using but for the most part, you'll want something that is quite roomy and that allows you to adjust the position. Any jock style harness should do but here are some recommendations for you.

      The Sophia Santis Red Rider G-Spot Strap-On Kit is really adjustable, allowing you to position it above or on your chastity device: www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16971

      Alternatively, you might like the look of the Spartacus Leather Ulti-Mate Dildo Harness which has a special curve in the leather that allows it to sit on or above the mound of your chastity device: www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=8074

      Hope this helps!
    • marie: April 26, 2010 06:33
      Hello,
      I am looking for a stylish, but not to expensive harness. This would be my first harness and I would like to be able to use it with a double ended dildo. I Really like the silver Jaguar Harness, but wonder if will suit my needs.
      Also, have you heard anything about the Feeldoe slipping out?
      I'm wondering if there might be a harness to use with that.
    • dave: June 07, 2010 21:43
      hi i really enjoy my fiance penetrating me anally - but i dont think it does much for her! i would love it if there was something that she could get penetrated at the same time - to give herself a ''workout' ' while she is taking me. i dont like the look of the strapless contraption that ive seen on here. any suggestions?
    • peter: October 11, 2010 11:12
      Hi my wife & I are interested in a Doc Jonson vac u loc harness & dildo are the harness male friendly or are they just for females to wear
    • archie: March 26, 2011 18:45
      im a female lokking for a strap on to penetrate my girlfriend while stimulating me without penetration..
    • mal: September 22, 2014 16:12
      Hi me and my wife enjoy a hollow strap on but sometimes its hard for me to get a snug fit my wife now wants to try one that is thicker rather then long which do advice to buy
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