• Help! My vibrator is too loud!

    Want a shiny new vibrator but scared it will sound like a jet engine taking off? Fear not, we're here to help you find a vibrator that's high on clit-stimulating vibes, not volume.


    It's every girl's worst nightmare. After hours of debating which vibrator to buy you've finally got your new playmate unwrapped and ready to blow your mind, but when you actually get down to the business of getting off you'd swear you were standing on the runway at Gatwick Airport.

    Loud as hell vibrators are a sure-fire passion killer. There's nothing less erotic than being titillated by something that sounds like a washing machine on spin cycle. Don't get us wrong, some loud vibes make up for it with ultra-powerful vibrations and unique designs. But if noise level is an overriding factor for you, steer clear of the loud but proud vibes in favour of more modest sounding ones with our tips to help you narrow the search in double-quick time.

    Water will make your vibe sound like a steam engine!

    Before we go any further, it's worth pointing out that even though waterproof vibrators are tons of aquatic fun, if you're trying to keep the volume down you're better off leaving them alone until there's no chance of you being overheard, because vibes are roughly four times louder when submersed in water.

    Have realistic expectations of volume

    When it comes to choosing your vibe, it's impossible for us to all have the same idea of what's loud and what's quiet. As a basic rule, a vibrator marketed as 'silent' or 'quiet' won't be heard over your stereo or TV by housemates or family members, but you will hear a certain low level of noise when it's switched on.

    Lovehoney 10 Function Remote Control Dream Egg 2.0 VibratorBecause they're so fantastic for use in public, remote control vibrators, such as the Lovehoney 10 Function Remote Control Dream Egg 2.0 Vibrator or Mantric Miyakodori Remote Control Bullet, are as quiet as you would hope to expect from a vibrator. That's why thousands of women across the UK spice up their daily trip to the supermarket, work place or gym while wearing one.

    Tricks to that keep the racket down

    BASIC Sex Toys Lady Lustfinger Mini VibratorAs a general rule, vibes made entirely from jelly help muffle the sound from the vibrator's motor, as will smooth, plastic Ladyfinger vibrators. But be careful with plastic vibes because the vibrations sometimes cause batteries to rattle around in the battery chamber, leading them to vibrate against the plastic and create extra noise.

    Ultrafit Silicone Vibrator Sleeves KitDon't be put off! Every girl needs a vibrator and they're great as a sexy treat for couples, too. To curb your vibe's noise enthusiasm, cover the motor part with your duvet or throw, or get under your bed sheets when you're ready to play, and choose the lowest setting so that it's quieter than the high-speed vibration patterns. You can also buy a jelly sleeve for your vibrator that will not only make it quieter, but more sensational to touch with the different choices of nubs or soft spikes.

    Sssh! I'm working!

    Silencer Quiet VibratorAs we mentioned earlier, there are vibrators available that have been designed to be especially quiet or silent compared to the noise level of an average vibrator. Vibes such as the Silencer Quiet vibrator and the Silent Night vibrator have been designed to deliver maximum clitoral stimulation without giving you earache. Silent but violently pleasurable orgasms indeed!

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