• Cock Sucking Customer Care In Action

    ----- Original Message -----
    From: [e-mail address removed]
    Sent: 11 March 2008 18:38
    To: Lovehoney News
    Subject: Re: 1 Week at £1.99 - Toys for Him and Her at Lovehoney

    Stop sending me this fucking shit. Right now, take my off your fucking list you cocksuckers. I'm tired of getting your goddam spam. If you don't stop I'm going to find a way to stop you myself.

    ----- Original Message -----
    From: Customer Care
    To: [e-mail address removed]
    Sent: Wednesday, March 12, 2008 10:18 AM
    Subject: Your message to loveHoney

    Hi [name removed],
    Thank you very much for your e-mail.

    The e-mail address [e-mail address removed] is on our mailing list because a person used it to ask for a free condom on 11 May 2006. That's a long time ago, so maybe you forgot the two were connected.

    Our mailing list is a double-opt-in system which means the owner of the e-mail address has to click on a link in an e-mail we send to prove that they own the e-mail address and to confirm that they want to join the mailing list and receive the free item.

    The owner of [e-mail address removed] clicked the double opt-in link.

    Every e-mail we send to our mailing list has an unsubscribe link at the bottom. I have clicked this for you to remove your address from the list.

    We are sorry if you received e-mail that you think you didn't ask for and understand that it is annoying, which is why we are so careful to run a double opt-in list.

    Do let me know if you have any more questions about our fucking list and I'll be happy to help when I've stopped sucking cock.

    All the best,
    Richard
    Lovehoney Customer Care

    Comments (8)

    • Random Bloke: March 12, 2008 15:34
      Class reply !!
    • anon: March 13, 2008 16:51
      More people should reply to junk email[1] like that: it wastes the time of an employee of a business, which means that employee isn't making money for the business. That will directly effect the company's bottom line.

      [1] Junk email being the kind of stuff people sign up to when they don't understand just how exploitative businesses are when it comes to people's personal data. The business will no doubt fail to mention how often they will spam people too (and its more often than in the real world, because sending emails is next to free).

      And the business usually then abusively hides behind their beaurocracy systems.... "the terms and conditions said blah blah blah, you agreed....". Joe Public doesn't read policies, and if he did he wouldn't understand anyway. Businesses know this, but case law means that businesses can get away with this abuse.

      Moral of the story is to always provide fake info to businesses. If you do have to provide real info, after the business is done follow up in writing with instructions for the business to purge their systems of all your personal info, and report them to the data commissioner if you think for a second they haven't purged all your data.

    • Wagglyman: March 13, 2008 19:09
      Self-righteous much? The damn page says:

      "Enter your details in the form below, join the LoveHoney e-mail newsletter, confirm your e-mail address, and keep an eye on your letterbox. Simple!"

      If in 2008 you haven't clocked that giving a company your email address means they will *send you email*, then stay off the bloody Intarweb.

      "abusively hides behind their beaurocracy systems"

      or 'provides an unsubscribe link', if we're going to be technical about it.

    • fgd: March 13, 2008 23:12
      www.spamgourmet.com
    • Lawrence Tureaud: March 14, 2008 01:10
      What kind of cheap fucking slut gives away their email address for a free condom?
    • mcbirdie: March 16, 2008 22:49
      "Joe Public doesn't read policies, and if he did he wouldn't understand anyway."

      I'm pretty sure that this not the fault of businesses. I learned to read back when I was a wee lass and my grandmother taught me to never agree to anything I didn't read. Perhaps we all need more grandmothers?

    • Night_KD: March 18, 2008 14:47
      Wonderful reply, very impressed with the professional manner of the message. :D

      Some people are so ignorant...

    • Hella Rouge: September 28, 2010 09:30
      What a classic! ^_^
    Add a comment
    1. Yes, please! Email me when there are more comments after mine
    2. We need to ask you a question to prove you're a human because evil spam computers keep abusing our form!