• "So I'm On My Own...Now What?" Part III

    After a question from a man wanting to know what he could do now that his long-term girlfriend is gone, it spurred some discussion on how singledom can actually help you make your sex life even better. Last week (and then earlier this week for a more practical take) I looked at how things were for women. But I believe in equality in pleasure, so now let's look at men.

    While women can use their time alone to learn how to have that elusive first orgasm, or have orgasms more regularly, or how to have a type of orgasm that she hasn't been able to before, men tend to have different sorts of goals. Because you all rarely have any real problems having an orgasm when you want them (apologies to any man who just gritted his teeth at me saying that), it can be harder to see why any time on your own could be good. I mean, you know what an orgasm in your own hand feels like versus one achieved with another person, and the hand rarely wins out, right?

    But where women sometimes have to get to the first steps of owning their sexuality, I like to think of men on their own as being able to attend the Master class of sexuality. You all are ready for the expert level. Time on your own is time away from the pressure of pleasing your partner, the fear of losing an erection at the wrong time, the fear of coming too soon. Now you can find out what stamina you are capable of (masturbating for ever longer amounts of time can be invaluable when you finally have a partner around to be impressed at your prowess), but not only that, you can discover in what other ways you enjoy being pleasured.

    If you've always been curious about prostate massage, but felt uncomfortable suggesting it to your previous partners, now is the time to give it a go. Always wondered how close you could get to orgasm with just stimulating your balls? Go forth and explore. Often when a woman wants to pleasure a man, she goes right for his cock. I mean, it tends to work, right? But you end up missing out on all the other nerve endings and sensations at your disposal.

    But on your own - you can be selfishly dedicated to the pursuit of all new pleasures. How great is that? Your body really is a Wonderland.

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