• Ask Birdie..."How Do I Surprise My Man?"

    Ask Birdie...

    Oh, Sex Toys. So tempting, but how do you know what to buy? What works? What doesn't? What is even OUT THERE to try? You have questions, I have answers (most of the time...)

    Dear Birdie,

    My man and I have a great sex life thus far to the point where we are both very easily aroused by each other and the frequency is good too. But I know that if I branched out, even though it's good already, he would probably follow my lead. So for future reference (and you should know that I will probably never be able to afford anything too expensive) what is something I could use on HIM?

    I am WAY too sensitive myself to even think about using a vibrator for me but he is a fairly typical male in that he can be aroused by stimulation of the perineal area so I would like to be able to...um...surprise him there, maybe during oral sex, but don't know how as in what the heck to use. I don't want the man to end up clinging to the ceiling in fear or shock but neither do I want to be so subtle that he doesn't know I've done anything different.

    So do you have any ideas for anything I could use on him that will (excuse the bad pun) blow his mind?

    Thanks in advance, McB.

    Love ya,

    Needs "Sexy Surprises 101" Class

    Oh, Sexy, I love your question because I like seeing people realize that sex toys are not just something to be used when your sex life is struggling or when you need some solo action. Toys are great to add to already good sex lives, to take it up a notch. Keeping things exciting and fun is a sure way of making sure you and your partner don't ever get bored.

    I also take your point about not wanting to spend a fortune. While some toys are well worth investing a bit of extra money, when you're just starting out and you're not sure what you and your partner are going to enjoy, it doesn't make sense to drop a lot of money onto any one thing. And luckily, you really don't have to.

    There are quite a few things that you can try out the next time you're focusing on your man that would be just a subtle change--trying a new lube, like Durex Play Tingle, which has a minty tingle that can feel pretty intense for your partner (and taste great for you), or try out Stroke 29 the next time you're giving a hand job because the reviews from the men are incredible and indicate that it feels completely different from the same old hand job. These sorts of things can be tried out for just a couple of pounds each (the Stroke 29 trial sachet is actually under a pound) so are well worth the try.

    But what I think might be just the ticket for you, is the Tongue Dinger. A wee vibrator that you wear on your tongue is just about guaranteed to take your oral sex to a whole new level. And because it just goes on your tongue, you can start to ease into stimulating the perineum and anus without freaking out your man, as can happen with some bigger vibrators. The Dinger actually just won the award for Best Vibrator of the Year and that doesn't happen with shoddy toys. It is also quite reasonably priced, so you can feel comfortable trying it out without investing too much.

    If you like what the Tongue Dinger does, you may eventually want to invest in the more permanent version, the Tongue Joy. That one comes with changeable batteries so you can make it a permanent addition to your bedside table--and it comes with three sizes of bands, so you can make sure your man gives it a go, too.

    As for you - you might be too sensitive to want to try out a vibrator, but that doesn't mean that there are no toys out there just for you. Stop by next Tuesday and I'll have a post up just for you and the other vibrator-shy women of the world.

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