How To Spend £35 With Sex Toy Cleverness
Being able to splash out on a high end sex toy is a real luxury, and definitely enjoyable when you have a chance to save up and get something extra special... but not all of us can do that. Sometimes, you just want to try out something new without having to worry about not liking something that you emptied your wallet on. I sometimes like to go crazy with an order and try out all sorts of toys that I wouldn't normally, just because they're so inexpensive that I know I can try them all out wallet-guilt free.
Now the sales page is always a good place to try, but there are all sorts of hidden little gems out there.
So when Lovehoney is once again taunting me to buy Just. One. More. Thing. to get their newest free offer, I like to get the most bang for my buck. To help broaden your sex toy horizons without having to take out a second mortgage, I present to you...
Around the Sex Toy World for £35 and the Free Gift
This is how a true master of frugality and sex toys makes up an order to get the most toys, covering all the major categories of play--and for as close to the £35 as you can get without having to dicker.
1. Bondage Tape You know why Bondage Tape has 21 reviews over at OA and still has a strong average of 4 ½ stars? Because it is just that good. Versatile, flexible, sexy, and an unbeatable price is why I have two rolls of this at home. This is a great first step into the world of bondage as it is a lot less intimidating than handcuffs or buckles. I love it.
2. 7 Inch Coloured Vibrator Every woman (and a whole lot of the men) need to have a good workhorse vibrator on hand. The vibrator that maybe isn't particularly fancy like those hoity toity Rabbit vibes all the cool kids have, but the vibe that you can always depend on to get the job done. That you can get it in a selection of colours to match your duvet is a bonus you can hardly pass up.
3. Love Eggs There are two types of women in the world. Those who do kegels and those who don't. Well, there are probably more types of women in the world, but I think this works as a good divider. Kegel exercises strengthen the pelvic floor muscle which helps you remain continent in old age--which is great, don't get me wrong--but more importantly than that, to me, is that it helps you have stronger and more easily attained orgasms. They also let you tighten around your partner in various memorable ways. I know I love my Eggs.
4. Ben Dover Bum Beads I love flexibility in a toy and especially in an anal toy--this is one that is absolutely suitable for beginners and more advanced users alike, meaning you will keep getting your money's worth for years after you forget how much you paid for it. I have a set of these and I absolutely love them. I only wish I had remembered to get a second set because I never get to have a go.
5. Lust Dust Adding in flavours is one of the easiest and most accessible ways to start bringing toys and play into your sex life. Less intimidating than a big dildo and more satisfying than just eating candy while watching television, Lust Dust is one of my favourites to recommend for a night in. It has a very nice lemony flavour that lends itself to being licked obsessively. Which...your partner will have zero problem with.
6. Good Vibrations Massage Bar Whoever figured out how to make a massage oil that is solid at room temperature but melts with body heat is a certifiable genius. Not only is it less messy than a traditional oil, but there is something very fun about sliding it around on your partner. And anything that keeps my partner massaging for longer gets two thumbs up from me. The scent of these bars is fabulous and they are also lickable. A necessary addition to the bedside table.
7. Stroke 29 Sachet The review for this lube and his big brother have got to be seen to be believed. Anything that gets men that hepped up about hand jobs is something that I have to think is worth a pound, if only to see if you enjoy it as much as the half a cup of coffee you could have bought instead.
And that...all comes to £35.83. Sure, I was aiming for £35, but I'm happy to throw the other 83 pence in to go towards The Professor's dry cleaning bills for his lab coat. So for the cost of dinner out, you could have seven toys that you chose, plus the free present from Lovehoney. That is bargain shopping that even your grandmother could approve of...if you're bold enough to tell her, that is.