"Honey, I was just thinking..." How to Bring Sex Toys into Your Relationship Part III
For the past two weeks, I've been talking about how to bring sex toys into your relationship if you and your partner haven't really talked about it before. If you're just jumping in today, you might want to take a look at the introduction or take a look at last week's blog which focused on keeping your first toy simple. Think you've got that point down? Then the next thing to keep in mind is...
Keep it fun . Sex is not serious business. Sex is fun. Toys are fun. It stands, therefore, that sex toys should be just about as much fun as you can have. It will serve no good to put pressure on your partner. Resist the urge to make ultimatums or compare your relationship to anyone else's. No heavy martyr-like sighs when the topic comes up. It is also advisable - unless you have a very special relationship - to avoid making bargains. Saying, "I'll do this thing you wanted [especially when that one thing is non-sexual in nature], if you do this thing in bed that I want" can take a lot of the joy and passion out of the entire endeavor. You don't want to set yourself up to get your desires filled through an exchange of favors or through deal-making.
Appeal to what your partner enjoys. If she loves it when you give her a massage, consider toys that can be incorporated into a fabulous massage - try bringing into the bedroom something like the Toy Joy Giggly Feathers, as a very gentle entry into the toy world. If you're feeling particularly saucy, you can get something like the Ostrich Feather Silicone Butt Plug. That way, once you and your partner are comfortable with the idea of a toy being around, you'll have a second toy already included to play with.
Never underestimate the power of cute. If you haven't had toys around before, try toys that don't look very serious - I adore the I Rub My Penguin bath toy and his little face will endear him to anyone - he makes a fabulous joint bath toy. There are cuddly, gentle looking toys in nearly all the possible types of toys. And remember, it isn't just the ladies who love a cute little face... your men, too, will be tickled to see how cartoon adorable some of the toys can be.
If you're looking for a set of anal beads, consider the Flexi Felix - he's an absolute heart-breaker of a caterpillar. His little grinning face can take a whole lot of the This Is Serious Business feeling you can get when you're just starting out in anal play... and that is key, because tension in that area is no help to anyone.
If you wanted to have a good multi-purpose vibrator, there is the Fun Factory Mini Bug Mini Vibrator, who is not only an absolutely adorable, jolly caterpillar, but he also comes in a fabulous bright green. Who could be intimidated? He is also totally waterproof, which means you can introduce him in the bath... where your partner can already be relaxing.
Looking for a cock ring? As well you should... there aren't many toys that make for better introductions to couple play - it is easily incorporated into your regular routine, so no one has to feel dethroned or intimidated. A great model is the Rabbit Vibrating Cock Ring. Not only is the bullet a powerful vibe, but his cute little face and ears are adorable.
Keeping things fun should be a credo you follow in all things sex toy related. Even when your play is serious, it is still play. Remembering that will take a lot of pressure off of your partner, and that can only mean good things for you.