Breasts are Best - 5 Ways to Show Your Breasts You Care
There has been a lot of news lately about Patrick Mallucci, the "Boobologist", and his claim to have figured out the formula for the perfect pair of breasts. Did it follow that he examined many a fine set of knockers and found them wanting? Oh, indeed. Would you believe me if I mentioned that he was a plastic surgeon who maybe had a vested interest in women feeling their breasts aren't up to scratch?
Well, I say pooh to you, Mr. Mallucci. There are few things in the world as beautiful, erotic, and comforting as a woman's breasts. I have to think people who can look at breasts and see only how they could be more 'perfect' must be just a little bit joyless.
So, instead of finding fault with our too small, too large, too droopy, too pointed, just-not-quite-right breasts, I say we collectively stick two fingers up by gently cupping those sweet orbs that give us and our lovers so much pleasure. I give to you...
1. Vibrating Nipple Stimulator No one around to pay attention to your nipples? This isn't quite as good as someone else's mouth (what is, am I right?), but it can help get you through the cold and lonely nights. Or at least get you ready for the main event. One reviewer over at the Orgasm Army recommended wearing them inside a tight bra to hold them in position.
2. Pink Nipple Suckers Oh, goodness. For the woman (or man) who can never get enough suction on the nipple, these are both effective and easy to use on yourself. As one reviewer said, "I was looking for something a little different from the usual nipple clamps - boy did I get it! My boyfriend loves using them on me and they`re great to use alone - believe me! Squeezing more air out before fitting results in a tight fit for a glorious pulling sensation."
3. Titillating Nipple Dust Sex and candy? Works for me. Nipple Dust is like covering one of the best bits on your lover in sweet candy - so what was already infinitely lickable suddenly becomes... um... lickable plus three. From one satisfied user: "It comes in a lovely black tin, very smart, with a blusher-type brush. The powder is in a bag so you can put as much or as little in the tin as you want at any time. It tastes delicious and is a lot of fun to use, even if the brush does tickle a bit!"
4. Toy Joy Vibrating Nipple Teasers Twin Pack Sucking? Check. Vibrating? Check. Best of all possible nipple toys? Possibly. You'll have to try it and see. It currently has a five star review, though, so there is at least one couple out in the world who fully supports the Twin Pack.
5. Suction Mistress Breast Exerciser For those of you who hate to leave the rest of your breasts out of the action, the Mistress Breast is a full cup that encircles your entire breast--so you get a feeling much more like having a hand squeezing you. Larger ladies may want to check the diameters first, but I think this one is worth a go for most women. I love toys that are designed by women because you know we know what is best in this area...
Breasts are a fabulous twin set gift, ladies. They look good, they feel great, and they make everyone just that much jollier. So rather than getting upset because you don't have the "ideal" breast, celebrate the lovely sensations that your girls give you. I don't think I'll have to tell the gentlemen more than once to do the same for the ladies...? Go out and find a breast to show your appreciation to tonight (please make sure to get the breast-owner's permission first, girls and boys).