Give him the best oral sex he's ever had
When talking about blowjobs, Sex And The City's Samantha Jones once said: "Honey, they don't call it a job for nothing."
Quite right, too. Blowjobs provoke different reactions in different women. For some it's a sure-fire way to blow their man's mind. For others it's a series of gag-reflexes, feelings of suffocation and nausea at the thought of swallowing sperm (especially if it's quite sour tasting – this can happen with guys who regularly smoke and drink). For me, it depends on who I'm with and what mood I'm in.
Some friends of mine even go so far as deciding whether to give head based on the size of the guy's penis. Their reasoning for this? "Women have small mouths and if the guy's penis is too big, we'll just end up gagging." I can understand the point they're making, but it doesn't have to be that way. The secret to giving your man great head is finding a balance between making him feel totally engulfed without making you feel suffocated.
Before we get into that, it's worth mentioning what not to do doing oral sex. This may seem obvious to most of you, but for those who are just getting into oral sex or trying it for the first time, the biggest mistakes you can make when giving your man a blowjob include: biting or scraping his penis with your teeth; pulling too hard on his foreskin; making it obvious that giving him head is the last thing you want to do, and practically vomiting all over him if he comes in your mouth.
So now that we've got the cardinal sins out of the way, here's how to give your man the best oral sex he's ever had.
Do your homework
If the issue of cleanliness is stopping you from giving your man a blowjob, why not turn a shower into a bit of wet and wild foreplay? You can use a non-perfumed shower gel (best for avoiding irritation of delicate skin) and masturbate him in the shower while cleaning his penis. If he has foreskin, pull it back very gently and wash the area underneath.
The next thing you should decide is what you want you're going to do when he comes. If you don't fancy swallowing, keep a tissue by the side of you when performing fellatio. You can hold his come in your mouth until he has finished and then release it into the clean tissue. That way your man still enjoys the feeling of coming inside your mouth without you having to swallow.
But if the thought of your man ejaculating in your mouth isn't appealing in the slightest, you could make it a bit more exciting for both of you by letting him ejaculate on your face, your breasts or any other body part you agree on.
Stand to attention
First of all, there's no hard and fast rule that says you have to wait until your guy's penis is like a rod of steel before going down on him. Having said that, I generally find it easier to start giving head when my lover's penis is fully erect.
If you find yourself in a position where you want to start giving head but your guy's not quite up to speed, start slowly at first with gentle sucking and swallowing movements, as the key to getting your guy's penis erect is maintaining a constant rhythm and gentle level of pressure.
Different strokes for different folks
It's not just women who love being licked during oral sex; men crave it too. Lick and lightly flick the tip of his penis with your tongue, moving back and forth across his frenulum (the ridge that runs the length of his penis), starting slowly at first before increasing speed and intensity.
The great thing about giving your man head is that you can mix it up with different strokes of your tongue – short, long, swirling, flicking; different speeds and different areas to focus on. But remember to maintain the same rhythm and technique when your man is approaching orgasm. The technique that I most love to use when giving a blowjob is to twist the shaft of my lover's penis while swirling my tongue over the head.
Apart from licking and flicking your man's penis, you should concentrate some of your effort on his other erogenous zones. So if you're feeling adventurous you could start licking and gently sucking on his balls and then cradling them in one hand while you lick his perineum (the skin between his anus and balls) and gently massage it. If you want to take this extra stimulation even further, you could lavish your man with long, sturdy licks that span from the base of his anus to the tip of his penis.
As cold as ice
As well as varying the length, pressure and direction of your tongue on your man's penis, contrasts in temperature and texture can be extremely pleasurable and intense. My favourite trick when going down on a lover is to keep a glass of champagne handy. There are two reasons for this: firstly, the sensation of putting my lover's penis into my mouth filled with a chilled liquid is an extremely intense and orgasmic sensation for his penis. And secondly, the texture of the champagne bubbles on his skin takes this sensation to another level.
If you can't stretch to a bottle of champagne, any sparkling wine will work. If you don't drink alcohol, you could experiment with an ice cube instead – sliding it up and down your man's penis or swilling the ice cube over the head of his penis.
Get a bigger mouth without plastic surgery
Whether you have a small mouth or hate the thought of gagging on your man's penis, there are a few tricks you can employ to make your man feel as though you're taking him fully in your mouth even though you're not.
One way to do this is get a flavoured lubricant (such as O'My Natural Flavoured Lubricant) and slather it on the hand you're using to work your lover's penis. When you're lubed up, place your mouth over the head of your lover's penis and place your hand around the shaft of his penis so that your index finger is touching your bottom lip. The slippery sensation of your lubed hand and wet lips makes your man feel as though every inch of his penis is covered, without making you gag.
Another trick you could use is to place your man's penis to the side of your mouth instead of dead centre. After all, the largest amount of sensation is in the tip of your man's penis and not the base, but because your taking in his penis on an angle he'll think you're covering more than you actually are.
The amount of pressure you apply when working your man's penis could make or break a session of fellatio. Grip too tightly and you could end up causing him pain, which no doubt will lead to him losing his erection. So getting the correct level of pressure is extremely important.
If I'm going to masturbate a lover during oral sex, I often ask him to show me how he would like it done before I get started. The basic masturbation technique to use during oral sex includes sliding your hand up and down your lover's penis, closing your hand slightly and gently applying pressure as you reach the head of his penis, then opening it slightly as you travel back down the shaft.
Top tip for great-tasting sperm:
Finally, if you are going food shopping this week, take a leaf out of Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee's book and buy some grapefruit juice. The sleaze-rocker swears that one glass a day of its fruity goodness makes his sperm taste better. If it was good enough for Pamela Anderson...