• Sperm Tester Maya - Diary - Day 22

    Well, we went to see Slava's Snow Show this evening. A show by clowns for children. Sweet and sad and enchanting and amusing. And with lots of large inflatable balloons! It was absolutely lovely but I have to say the highlight of my evening took place in the ladies loos at the end of the show. No, no, no. Don't be so disgusting. There were loads of kids around!

    I stood watching for a few minutes whilst a girl of about seven or eight spoke to her younger sister through the door of one of the end cubicles. It quickly became apparent that the younger girl was stuck. I watched a little to see if anyone else had any bright ideas (I know I have a tendancy to steam in and be inconsiderate of others if I think someone needs rescuing).

    Nothing happened. I went up to the door and tried to turn the lock from the outside, first with my nails and then with a coin offered by another lady. I could hear the child on the other side whimper as I failed and failed again.

    I cleared my slightly tiddly voiced and tried to sound calm and reassuring, "Don't worry. We'll get this open in no time. These doors are designed to be easy to open". I frantically searched my brain for an image of something I might have in my handbag that might be wider than a coin and serve as a... screwdriver.

    I found a bottle opener I had bough in a recent trip to the seaside and had the pleasure of announcing, "I thought that bottle opener migh be useful for something!" as I finally twisted the implement hard and released the door and young girl. Her dad didn't seem to believe her when she told him what had happened!

    OK I am boring you. Listen, the sperm doesn't taste of apple. What can I say? Shane has taken two pills EVERY DAY. Maybe, at the end, there will be a taste of something akin to green apple but I'm not holding my breath. So sue me.

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