• Put What Where? 2000 Years Of Bizarre Sex Advice

    "Rub your penis with the bristles of certain insects that live in trees, and then, after rubbing it for ten nights with oils, rub it with the bristles as before. Swelling will be gradually produced. Then lie on a hammock with a hole in it and hang the penis through the hole. Take away the pain from the swelling by using cool concoctions. The swelling lasts for life." Kamasutra, translated by Sir Richard Burton and F. F. "Bunny" Arbuthnot (1883)

    Just one of the gems to be found in John Naish's Put What Where? 2000 Years Of Bizarre Sex Advice. Naish gives an amusing - if terrifying - roundup of his book's contents in a recent article for The Times. Sample quote: "The printing press enabled publishers to churn out dodgy books faster than the Church authorities could ban them. Readers were treated to gems such as Mrs Isabella Cortes’s handy hint from 1561 that a mixture of quail testicles, large-winged ants, musk and amber was perfect for straightening bent penises."

    If you're looking for some more reliable advice, we've a big selection of up-to-the-minute better sex guides in The Erotic Book Shop, none of which advocate any sort of sexual engagement with a vacuum cleaner.

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